The Haven
Published in

The Haven

14 Signs Your Favorite Neighbor Is A Russian Hitman

1. Offers to carry your groceries up the stairs, even when his hands are full of weapons.

2. Attends every tenant meeting with lots of great suggestions, and two enforcers named Vlad and Razor.

3. Smiles and waves at you with broken teeth and bloody knuckles.

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James Klein

James Klein

250 Followers

Writes humor and awkward bios. Top writer in satire. McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, Points in Case, The Satirist, and others at jameskleinhumor.com.