1939 Censor’s Alternatives to “Frankly, My Dear” Line

“Frankly my dear….”

Phil Witte
The Haven


Wikipedia Public free use

“I don’t give a hoot in heck.”

“I don’t swear.”

“You’re awfully needy.”

“Twelve years of couples counseling hasn’t helped.”

“I’m leaving you, so don’t try to telegraph me, or phone me after the telephone is invented.”

“You might consider becoming a blockade runner. It’s been very, very good to me.”

“I could tell you exactly what you should do, but then you’d accuse me of mansplaining.”

“Your retrograde views on race suggest you have a promising career in politics.”

“Hire a good architect and turn this place into a B&B.”

“Sell Tara and invest in railroad stocks.”

“I keep calling you ‘my dear’ because I can’t remember your name.”

“I prefer Ashley.”

“The Oscar for Best Picture should have gone to The Wizard of Oz.”



Phil Witte
The Haven

Writes for Slackjaw, The American Bystander, Funny Times, Points in Case, and a blog for CartoonStock. Cartoons in publications in US & UK. toons.to/philwitte