21 Things You Can No Longer Do in America
But you can still kick the bucket and push up daisies.
Ring a doorbell at the wrong address.
Drive up a wrong driveway.
Play hide and seek on the neighbor’s lawn.
Let your basketball accidentally roll onto the neighbor’s lawn.
Ask your neighbor to stop shooting so your baby can sleep.
Expect to leave an outlet mall in Texas alive.
Expect to leave a grocery store alive.
Assume you’ll live to graduate from school.
Enjoy a Sweet Sixteen party.
Enjoy a 4th of July parade.
Enjoy an outdoor concert.
Go dancing, go to church, go to a gas station.
Celebrate Lunar New Year.
Have an abortion in 24 states, but get shot while pregnant.
Be LGBTQ and be safe.
Be Black, Asian, or Jewish and be safe.
Expect God or the NRA to save you.
Expect any remedy from Congress other than “thoughts and prayers.”
Expect to actually be represented in Congress.
Karen L. Sullivan writes satire in between other projects. Her work is published in The Belladonna, The Haven, Rainshadow Journal, Stonecoast Review, and several sailing magazines.
