25 Things Amerykaniecs Shouldn’t Say In Poland, Austria, Or Germany
Because then they’ll know you’re an Amerykaniec.
1. “Sprechen sie Englisch?”
2. “This apartment has a washer but no dryer. Do all Eastern Europeans dry their skivvies on the sofa?”
3. “I haven’t seen a single police officer since we arrived. I guess street signs in German with exclamation points are enough.”
4. “How big is your plate of meats?”
5. “The stairwell in our building has no electricity or heat. I totally get what life was like during the Occupation.”
6. “I half-expected Poland to be in black and white with Wagner playing in the background.”
7. “The Pilsen neighborhood in Chicago has the same energy as Krakow and only costs me $2.50 on the bus to get there.”
8. “Who do we have to annex to get some mustard around here?”
9. “I need a calculator and complete silence to figure out how these numbers and letters make up a language.”
10. “Are you pissed or are you Polish?”
11. “Silly me, I thought two bathrooms meant two toilets. No wonder you all lost World War II.”
12. “Ask the house band if they know any songs by Kraftwerk. Or Mozart.”
