25 Ways to Answer the Question, “Are You On Ozempic?”

When You Are On Ozempic But Don’t Want Anyone to Know

Kristine Laco
The Haven

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Photo by Raghavendra V. Konkathi on Unsplash
  1. I’ve just been working so hard, I haven’t had time to eat.
  2. I bought new clothes.
  3. I only eat crusts.
  4. Full-fat milk in my coffee has really spiked my metabolism.
  5. I only have soda on Tuesdays after 10pm if it’s raining.
  6. I use the thigh master on conference calls.
  7. Grapefruit. I eat more grapefruit.
  8. Healing crystals.
  9. I’m wearing my belt at my natural waistline and it really gives me that hourglass figure.
  10. I’m the same, but you’re fatter.
  11. I upsized my furniture.
  12. I’m drinking 5 liters of water a day, aren’t you?
  13. I have diabetes, but thanks for being insensitive, bitch.
  14. I had a big poop the morning.
  15. Intermittent fasting, of course.
  16. I started pickleball.
  17. I eliminated salt so I’m no longer retaining water.
  18. My doctor recommended I eat more avocados for the good fat and I saw the bad fat drop off.
  19. I’ve been getting my steps…

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Kristine Laco
The Haven

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