4 Creative Ways to Get That Gal You Desire into Bed
Or think outside the box to get inside the box!
Ok fellas, let’s say that you’ve been courting a woman for some time and although you get along pretty well and seem to have a lot in common, you’re just not getting that come hither vibe for whatever reason. The signals just aren’t there but you’re not getting the cold shoulder either. You seem to be stuck in the ‘friend zone’ or some such place that’s not never-never land but not the promised land either. Maybe she said ‘maybe’ which by the way is the worst thing that a man can hear from a woman as it’s not ‘yes’, which is what we all long to hear and at least ‘no’ is definitive and lets you move on to other pastures, though these days given the predilection for depilation there are few pastures left.
So, how do you get where you want to be and take these kinds of relationships to the ‘next level’ which means something very different in woman-speak than it does in man-speak. So, don’t confuse the two. I am here to help and I’m going to give you four creative strategies to get in her pants … errr, I mean develop a closer and more intimate relationship.
- Let her get married to someone else for a few years first.
This may seem counterintuitive, but you’d be surprised at how potentially effective this strategy can be. First, you have to have some patience. I know that’s pretty hard for a lot of you guys who can’t really think that far ahead and play the long game. Secondly, you’ll need to stay in touch, maybe not closely but you’ll have to monitor the situation. Since you were in the ‘friend zone’ she’ll be open to confiding in you when her marriage starts to go down the drain or when she’s simply bored and fed up with her husband and his various limitations. As one of my girlfriends so succinctly put it, “All women love cock, it’s just the men they tire of”.
Also, never underestimate boredom and routine as a motivation for adultery. You may not require the dissolution of her marriage to get you where you wish to be. Sex is an immediate, quick, and cheap cure for boredom and you’re not a stranger so that reduces the level of risk that she may be taking. If she does get divorced every woman requires and is entitled to a free fuck to feel good about herself and assuage her hurt and anger. By free, I mean one without any major emotional consequences, not that she doesn’t have to pay.
However, you may face one potential problem in this regard which is she chooses to use her free pass card with someone else. So, be prepared that this could go a couple of different ways. One is that she chooses a younger man who is fitter with more energy than you have since you aged having waited for so many years. Or she could choose someone older and more established than you are with more money. It could go either way and you’ll still be out in the cold with your dick in your hand. Them’s the breaks.
This is not a surefire strategy, but it is known to work.
Odds: 50/50 unless she really is happily married. If that’s the case don’t sweat it as you never really had a shot in the first place.
2. Get another woman or better yet two other women to recommend you and endorse your sexual prowess.
Guys, this is pretty surefire. If you can get a couple of your other lovers to speak to her about you in this way, I can almost guarantee that you’ll nail this broad ... errr, I mean develop a deep and meaningful relationship. I find that if a man can orchestrate something like this the majority of women are intrigued and aroused by it.
Organize a nice lunch, preferably overlooking the sea or a lake or a river. Make sure that it’s an elegant restaurant on a nice sunny day. If it’s winter pick a place with a big roaring fireplace and a ski lodge ambience. Ensure that there is plenty of wine flowing. Let the women do the talking. Don’t interrupt them. All the work is being done for you so just shut up and know that it’s going to work out.
One thing I will say, however, is that if you can get two women to provide this kind of salutatory information you probably already have the level of confidence and poise required not to have needed their services in the first place and should have sorted things out on your own some time ago.
By the end of lunch, she should be more than receptive to any advances you collectively want to make. Head to the nice hotel room that you prearranged and let your friends do the prep work of getting her out of her clothes. They will no doubt make positive remarks on her choice of underwear, and her physique and if she has pubes this will certainly be commented on.
This is a girly thing. Don’t interfere. I recommend that you start off by going down on her while your other playmates suck her nipples. She will appreciate this, and it will relax her even further. Four in a bed is an optimal number as it means that everyone is engaged at all times, and no one is reduced to the role of a mere voyeur at any given moment. If you can’t get two women to vouch for you one will usually do the trick, but things will go better if she’s bi and has no aversion to cunnilingus. Also, your new friend will no doubt be excited to discover how much she enjoys an experience that she hadn’t previously considered she might engage in.
The other advantage of having four rather than three people is that after you are all sated you can engage in other pleasurable social activities such as a couple of rubbers of bridge. With three you’re more limited in this regard and most people these days don’t play pinochle.
Odds: 90/10. There’s a small chance this one won’t work if she’s homophobic or has serious body image problems or is truly shy and reserved, however, given the mass exposure to porn these days and how it has normalized all sorts of sexual behavior you probably won’t encounter these issues the way you might have, say — fifty years ago.
3. Stage a Fake Hen Party.
This one is going to cost you some money but could be well worth it. First, you’ll have to hire some actresses. Tell them that you are a television producer and are putting together a scripted reality show about girls gone wild at their bachelorette parties and that you are auditioning a woman who will potentially be cast as a bride-to-be. For the audition you require one of the actresses to play the role of bride-to-be, one the role of maid of honor, and the rest to be her friends. Give them all some plausible backstories and tell them to make sure that they don’t break character.
Tell the woman who is your target … errr, I mean the object of your affection that an old High School friend of yours who is acting as maid of honor for her best friend asked you to arrange some, ahem ‘entertainment’ for the hen party as she was too embarrassed to hire a male stripper herself. You agreed to undertake this assignment and in return are invited to the party. Your job is to make sure this part of it goes smoothly and to take care of the payment etc. and that your putative girlfriend should come along for a hoot!
At the party, the actresses should all be prepped, and don’t forget to make them sign the necessary release and consent forms, as they should egg on your auditionee to interact with the stripper. Now, women in general are highly susceptible to suggestion and peer pressure.
As a result, when the stripper does his act with the whipped cream on his dick and the entire crew is exhorting your erstwhile TV reality star to, ’Suck that dick! Suck that dick”! she probably will. And we all know what response dick-sucking has in a gal’s nether regions.
Before you can say, “This may have gone too far”! the stripper will no doubt have her skirt up above her waist and her thong pushed to one side and his somewhat implausibly large-looking cock deep in her pussy while you’re trying to come to terms with it all and wondering what exactly you have accomplished here.
Don’t worry, just let her enjoy getting pounded by this rather large and imposing, ripped, fit guy. You should eventually get your turn. However, be careful. Don’t try to jump her right then and there immediately after the stripper has pumped a load into her mouth. That will just come across as rapey. Also, the actresses will think that you’re trying to pull some sort of Harvey Weinstein and will undoubtedly intervene and put a stop to it.
What you have to do is wrap the party up pretty quickly and get her upstairs to the hotel room you rented, assuming that you had the presence of mind to stage the party in the same premises. Then while she’s still high on the dopamine flooding her brain that the hired help precipitated you can try it on. I think most of the time you’ll be successful. I once did a three-way with a girlfriend and about twenty minutes after the other fellow left my girlfriend blurted out, “God, I wish there was another man here”! Female sexual arousal can be a breathtaking thing to behold. Don’t panic and don’t quail in the face of it.
However, I have to caution you that having been drinking for an extended period of time and having been fucked until she forgot her own name she may simply pass out on the bed, in which case you are SOL. An even more undesirable reaction may be an attack of conscience for having engaged in such outré behavior so that she bursts into tears and declares, “Oh my God, I’m such a slut”! In which case she will no doubt ask you to call her a cab and you’ll never see her or hear from her again.
Odds: 70/30 unless she has a severe attack of buyer’s remorse. Remember post coitum omne animal triste est.
4. Offer her an MMF three-way.
This is absolutely your best bet! I have never known a woman to turn down an offer of this nature. Unlike some of the other suggestions that I have made here this one requires no surreptitious actions on your part. The offer is clear. The next step is to let her choose the other man. You absolutely have to use an agency for this. Do not involve a friend or an acquaintance. That will only go wrong in so many possible ways that I can’t even begin to list them. Go through an agency. In the United States use Cowboys4Angels, Cowboys 4 Angels | Elite Straight Male Escorts. In Europe use The Men’s Company, Aantrekkelijke High Class Mannelijke Gigolo’s | The Men’s Company (gigolo-services.com).
Because she has chosen the companion, she will already be wet because she picked one that turned her on. She will be thinking about him and what he’s going to do to her in the lead up to the big night. This anticipation will keep her highly aroused. Don’t try to distract her attention from these lascivious thoughts. Such behavior will only jeopardize the operation. In fact, it is much better to draw her out on what she would like to do in this situation and cheerfully volunteer to assist in fulfilling any fantasies she may have. As a result, she will probably conclude, rightly or wrongly that you are a generous, open and giving man. Please don’t disabuse her of this possibly misguided assumption by starting to act like an asshole and prevaricating or letting your insecurities start to emerge.
Ask her to choose the day on which she wants to have the experience. Why? Because it’s a lot less embarrassing than asking her what her menstrual cycle is and trying to schedule around it. No doubt she’ll pick a date to coincide with when she’s ovulating as that’s just how these things work in terms of hormonal highs and lows.
I strongly recommend that you schedule the act for the late afternoon to early evening say 4–7pm. Why? Because that’s a good time to have a drink to break the ice, an hour and a half or so for the sex and some time for a post coital drink. You do not want to do this later in the evening after dinner. Imagine how this could go sideways if you’re getting her fucked on a full stomach and a head full of wine. Bear in mind and accept the fact that you’re almost certainly going second. After getting shagged silly by a professional and that’s what he is and you’re the amateur which is unquestionable since you had to resort to this wheeze in order to debauch … errr, I mean provide an exciting and unforgettable sexual experience for her; the last thing that you want is for her to have to rush to the bathroom to spew up the rich dinner and bottle of wine that she consumed an hour or so before you even get to lay a hand on her. Sex first, food later, bottom to top is the priority.
If she has agreed to do this, relax ’cause you’ll get it too. Not necessarily because she agreed though that’s most of the battle won right there but you will be in a confined space, and she will be naked so very unlikely to run. Then you have your assistant to warm her up and do the initial hard work. He’ll know based on experience when to switch off. If she’s multiply orgasmic this will be both seamless and welcomed. So, stay cool, don’t get sulky if he’s better at it than you are and she seems to be cumming harder with him. You can try to come to terms with that later. For right now just be thankful that you escaped the ‘friend zone’ and don’t be a dick and try to come on her face!
Odds: 99/1 Nothing in life is ever certain, but this is as near as dammit unless when you first made the suggestion she said, “I never told you this but when I was younger, I took a purity vow and I have to honor that promise”. Then, you can go and slit your wrists. Everyone will understand.
