4 Nightmares I’ve Had Where I Woke Up to Danny DeVito Holding Me

#1 Being Chased

Just before graduating high school I was under a lot of stress and riddled with uncertainty. As a result, my sleep pattern and quality of sleep took devastating hits. I remember one particular night where I tossed and turned into the early hours of the morning. When I finally fell asleep that night I started having a terribly vivid nightmare. I was in a dark, dense forest with the sensation of being chased. I started running in a random direction but the unknown being kept chasing. I could feel the presence getting closer and closer until I could almost feel its hands grab onto me.

I jumped awake. My fear was immediately dispelled when I realized I was wrapped in the strong, hairy arms of the one and only Danny DeVito. In my half asleep state, I looked to him and asked:
“Hey, aren’t you famous Hollywood actor Danny DeVito?”

“Yes. Now rest, my child. All is well.” He spoke in a soft but firm voice that calmed me in an instant. I closed my eyes, let my mind go empty, and fell back to sleep. When I woke up, Danny had left and I didn’t even get a chance to tell him how much him being there meant to me.

#2 Falling

Having a dream where you’re falling isn’t uncommon but that doesn’t make the experience any less unnerving. Several years after graduating high school I had a nightmare where I was falling down a dark, bottomless pit but I moved in slow motion. In the dream I felt hopeless and almost paralyzed. As I felt myself reaching the bottom of whatever black pit I was falling in, I shot up from my slumber in a cold sweat. As I tried to catch my breath, I felt a warm, familiar hand rest on my shoulder. I looked over and couldn’t believe my eyes. Sitting on the side of my bed was no other than Danny DeVito, a seasoned actor whose career has spanned decades.

“Why hello again, Mr. DeVito.” I said, disbelief saturating my voice.

“Greetings, my son. It is I; Danny.” His voice was as soothing as I remembered.

“Thank you for comforting me through this tough time, and also congratulations on your 1980 Golden Globe win for Best Supporting Actor for your work on the television show Taxi.”

“It is my pleasure. Also thank you, that means a lot to me. Even if it was 37 years ago, the sentiment is appreciated.” Golden Globe winner Danny DeVito pushed my wild hair out of my face and smiled. As I started to drift back in the realm of sleep, I could hear my new best friend Danny DeVito whisper: “I was also in Matilda.”

#3 Snakes

This dream might not connect with everyone as being a “nightmare” but personally I have a fear of snakes. The slithery devils have scared me ever since I was a child and although I’m not as afraid as I once was, my fear of snakes has followed me into adulthood. On one particularly cold December night, I had a dream of being chased by a giant snake. Wherever I stepped my foot found another pile of hissing and teeth-baring snakes making every moment a terrifying eternity. In the dream, I felt like I couldn’t breathe and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t get away from the cluster of snakes that sprawled before me as far as the eye could see.

I woke up with a jolt and just laid in my bed for a moment, irrationally expecting the floor of my room to be covered in angry snakes. When I looked up I saw a short, sturdy figure standing above me with their arms wrapped around my body. At first the sight startled me, but after the initial shock, I knew it could be no other than the man who was always there when I needed him mos; Danny DeVito. I breathed a sigh of relief then sat up to greet him.

“Hello my good friend, Danny DeVito.” I said, resting my hand calmly on his face.

“Hello. Were you having yourself another troublesome dream, my little baby boy?” Danny’s voice was like warm soup being poured all over my body and his words relaxed every part of me.

“I did. How do you always know when I’m having a bad dream?” I inquired.

“A mother’s love allows you to know all kinds of things.” Danny DeVito’s eyes glistened in the moonlight.

“Thank you again, Danny DeVito, and I just wanted to take a moment to say that I just recently finished the last season of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia on FXX. It is a really terrific show!”

“We think so too!” Danny DeVito said in an excited whisper. “We just got renewed for another season and we’re very excited about it.”

“That’s so great! Its hard to find good television these days.” I rested my head on the pillow again as Danny DeVito’s hands rubbed my eyebrows. “Goodnight, Danny.”

#4 Naked in Public

Recently I had a terrible nightmare where I was naked in a grocery store near my house and it was a very troubling experience. Now, I’m not saying indecent exposure is scarier than being chased by an invisible force or a pile of snakes, but the disruption of social norms is one of my biggest phobias. I dreamed I was trying to buy some fruit from a fruit aisle and all eyes were on me. I tried to walk towards the door but angry customers stopped me. It was then I noticed I was completely naked in public and the people in my dream had just about enough of it. The entire dream consisted of me trying to get out of public while the other customers yelled and insulted me.

I woke up without jumping, unlike the other nightmares I’ve had. The fact that I was mostly naked in my bed shocked me for a second, but I readjusted to reality. I let out little laugh to remind myself I was awake, but as I did so I felt small, calculated movements. As I became more aware of my surroundings I realized that toned, hairy arms were cradling me as if I were a baby, softly rocking me. I looked up only to be looking inside the nostrils of a smiling Danny DeVito, softly whispering reassuring things to me while rocking.

“Why hello again, Danny DeVito, star of television and film. What brings you here?” I asked while fighting back a yawn.

“I was actually here for unrelated reasons, but I saw you were tossing and turning so I figured you were having some sort of nightmare where you were naked.” Danny said in a way that reminded me he deserved that Drama Desk Award for Outstanding Featured Actor in a Play he earned for The Price in 2017. I nodded to show my understanding.

“Well thank you. You’re my best friend, Danny DeVito, and I hope you know how much I appreciate you doing this for me. It can’t be easy to cradle another grown man while he’s having a nightmare, but you make the sacrifice.

“Think nothing of it.” Danny DeVito said. “But real quick before I go I just wanted to say that even though Batman Returns wasn’t a great movie I’m still honored I got to be a part of something so close to people’s hearts.”

“That’s good to know, thank you.” I said just before I fell back to sleep in Danny DeVito’s arms.

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