Humor
7 Healthy Food Substitution Ideas That Are Full of Shit
And shame on you for suggesting them.
Published in
4 min readJan 26, 2021
You’ve seen the articles. “15 Foods That Are Bad for You,” or “Stop Eating This You Fat Slob.”
They’re usually written by a registered dietitian or nutritionist and contain such groundbreaking revelations as “too much sugar is bad for you,” and “bacon is a bullet that you eat.”
They then try to suggest healthy substitutes for your favorite foods, and it rarely goes well.
1. Replacing Sugary Breakfast Cereals
“Make your own oatmeal from scratch!”
I’m convinced that oatmeal is a lesser-known punishment for mankind’s original sin.
I’m sure God told Adam and Eve on their way out of the Garden of Eden, “Oh, and here’s what you get to eat from now on. It’s called ‘oatmeal.’ Maybe you’ll listen next time.”
