A Message About Your Holiday Gift Order
It hasn’t shipped yet- please don’t get mad at us!
It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
Our whole crew is working triple overtime to package and ship every order as fast as we humanly can. Because our customizable boob pillows went viral on Tik Tok this year, we are experiencing an exponential increase in orders and our processing time is taking just a teensy weensy bit longer than usual. Good news! This increase in sales has allowed our packaging team to hire 15 new temps. They are so passionate about getting your booby pillows to you on time they don’t even sweat the fact they aren’t receiving benefits and will be out of a job as soon as this magical season is over.
You better not pout, you better not cry, your items will be there in no time! Our delivery vans are now equipped with nitrous oxide systems and we have hired all the best Fast & Furious stunt drivers! Each driver will have a tracking device implanted into the base of their skull so that you can monitor their location at all times, up to the second they reach your doorstep. Once your items are ready to ship, you’ll receive a confirmation email with that tracking number, as well as a link to the live-feed of the inside of your delivery driver’s van. You’ll see them when they’re sleeping, you’ll know when they’re awake! (On a serious note, please do shout…
