A Message From the Apple Growers Association of America on the Recent Spate of People Choked by Apples

You Don’t Throw Away the Whole Bushel Just Because of a Few Bad Apples, Do You?

On behalf of the Apple Growers Association of America[1], let me remind the American people that apples are at the core of our rich and varied culture. It’s baseball, hot dogs and apple pie. Not peach cobbler.

Without apples, Newton wouldn’t have codified his laws on gravity, and then we don’t put a man on the moon. You think any of that happens if Newton is sitting underneath a banana tree? Of course not. He probably invents Bananas Foster instead of Newtonian Physics.

In a country with skyrocketing medical costs, apples are the only thing between you and bankruptcy. Are pineapples going to keep doctors away? You can bet your Rosy Sweet Arse® apple they ain’t, and don’t you forget it.

That said, I am obliged to acknowledge some of the negative “stories” recently about people choked by apples.

Although it may seem as if there has been a sharp increase in the number of people choked by apples, I assure you the same number of people are choked by apples today as have always been choked by apples. The only thing that has changed are the videos…