Note from the editor
Welcome to our new humor publication! The Haven is a place for all types of humor writing — stories, essays, lists, Onion-style fake news, funny poetry. It’s not a place for misogyny, racism, homophobia, transphobia, violence or any other demeaning content. We can be funny without the bullshit.
Editors
Writers
Janine Annett
I'm Janine. I rock. I write things. Etc. Read more at http://www.janineannett.com and http://www.twitter.com/janineannett
Nikki Haverstock
City girl learning to run a ranch, archer, geek, vlogger, and mostly a mystery & comedy writer
Roz Warren
Roz Warren, FBTA, (https://muckrack.com/roz-warren) writes for everyone from the New York Times to the Funny Times.
Stephanie D. Lewis
Just because you're a hypochondriac doesn't mean you can't also get sick! Writer of all things quirky — relationships, lifestyle, sex, and 80’s throwbacks.
Melissa Janisin
Reader, writer, library patron, baseball fan; mom of two and stepmom of one. Writing things down and sharing with 12 or so people at http://goodnessmadness.com.
Mark Salamon
physical therapist - legally inflicting pain while simultaneously trying to make people laugh http://marksalamonpt.com/
Mick Theebs
Writer. Painter. Poet Laureate of Milford, CT. Cooks a mean pork chop. http://www.alsothat.com
Kevin Froleiks
Comedian. Host of the podcast @WeWroteAMusical. Writer and Composer of a #LewisAndClarkMusical. Co-producer of Bad News Comedy every Sunday at 7pm in NYC.
MPL
Magician.NYC & ManPoweredFilms.com | New York's Uncanniest | Director | Screenwriter | Satirist | All Around Nice Guy | Mark Philip Lichtenstein
Casey Rand
Chief Creative Officer at The Potential Energy Coalition. Contributor @ The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, etc. Born with one long armpit hair // caseyrand.com
Matt Paolelli
husband & father | writer | content creator | digital marketer | cancer survivor | Northwestern alum | die-hard Cubs fan | happy Catholic | among other things
Richard Mertens
26. Tall. Bearded. Hilarious. Minnesota. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: rmertens33@gmail.com. TWITTER: @Turbo_Richard
Molly Campbell
Two-time Erma Bombeck Award winning writer. # Novelist. Author CROSSING THE STREET bit.ly/CROSSINGTHESTREET. Living on the cutting edge of boring. #Artist
EstherK
Writer & consultant. Pop culture consumer. Jewess writing about tragedy & comedy. @GrokNation @JewishJournal
Greg Schwem
Business comedian. Funny keynote speaker (really). Meeting host. Nationally syndicated humor columnist for Tribune Content Agency. Author.
Jeffrey Rodman
Polycom's Co-founder and Chief Evangelist is at root a pixel 'n' sample geek + pianist. I speak and write about natural communications over unnatural distance
Fleurtje Eliza Duivis
Founder of the art project Blue Mark For ME. Artist. Art historian. Storyteller. Knitting designer. Fellow human being. ME patient. Book lover.
Irving Ruan
SF-based comedy writer. Words in The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, Funny Or Die, CollegeHumor, and elsewhere. http://irvingruan.com
Karen Kilbane
My students with special needs have led me to develop a hypothesis for a brain-compatible theory of personality. Reach me at karenkilbane1234@gmail.com
Jeff Cahlon
I write political and social commentary and satire. Connect with/follow me on Medium and on Facebook/LinkedIn/Twitter. E-mail me at jcahlon@gmail.com.
Bryce Post
is a writer that always seems to be working on at least five different projects while attempting to share musings and revelations on a regular-ish basis.
Sravani Saha
Author of ‘Yes, The Eggplant is A Chicken’ https://amzn.to/2Iym2ok Humorist, Satirist, Mom, Ex-Googler. Write to me at s.sravani@gmail.com
Tommy Paley
I write creative non-fiction, humorous and random short stories, unique and tasty recipes and fiction involving odd and funny relationships. I also love cheese.
Lauren Salkin
Dysfunctional wife, mother, loser of stuff. Making sense out of chaos. Writer of different genres and moods. #humor #satire #life #politics #writing #culture
Joe Váradi
Editor of No Crime in Rhymin' | the Quid Pro Bro ..."come for the sarcasm, stay for my soft side"
That Shameless Hussy
“Now pay attention and stop your nonsense!” said Alice’s sister.” “Fuck off,” said Alice. Follow me at www.thatshamelesshussy.com
Taylor Kay Phillips
contributor @ Reductress, @McSweeneys, @TheBelladonnaComedy, writer for NightLate at UCB, makes great burgers
Patrick McGuire
Writer, musician, and human man living in New Mexico https://patrickmichaelmcguire.com/
Sue D. Gelber
Runner, writer, dog lover, bad yogi. Work in New Yorker Daily Shouts, McSweeney’s, Electric Lit, etc. Online at suedgelber.com.
Maggie Downs
World traveler, journalist and all-around nice person. Still undecided about the Oxford comma.
Scott Stavrou
Author of Losing Venice, a novel (May, 2018) | American living in Europe | PEN Hemingway Award | Writer, Teacher | http://bit.ly/LosingVenice
Jennifer Philp
software developer; i write maybe one thing a year but it's usually pretty good. motherofbones.wordpress.com
Rebecca Strong
Author of WHO IS MR. PLUTIN? (Curiosity Quills Press, 2015) — a novel that foresaw Putin’s intentions to meddle in the US politics. www.rebecca-strong.com
Will Sonheim
Writer/Performer/Filmmaker Based in Chicago ~ Learned a lot at @NorthwesternU, @iOChicago, @NeoFuturists & @TheLondonFilmSchool ~
Mickey Hadick
Public speaker, author, and quipster. I write thrillers, comedies, satire and self-improvement. Sign up for a free book and news: www.mickeyhadick.com/updates/
Rusty Ellis
📚Husband. Father. Grandpa. Author of "Picture Perfect Murder" a Clean Detective Mystery Series - Crime Thriller. Available on Amazon - https://amzn.to/2S7HSEO
Nick Walsh
Words & sentences that could put a smile on your face. If you’re that kind of person. 15% off. Promises void. Unable to issue rereads. www.nickwalsh.fyi
Rachel Khona
I argued with a ghost once. Likes: singing off key, brie and wine. Credits: Playboy, NYT, Cosmo, WashPo. IG: @rachelkhona Twitter: @rachelkhona
Brian Pinaire
Brian Pinaire is the author of the two best books you've never read, plus dozens of articles that range from hilarious to boring as hell. www.brianpinaire.com
Perry Block
One Boomer humorist trying to turn back the clock through parody, satire & anything else you want. My book “Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute” at https://goo.gl/PgpTbm
Kendra Stanton Lee
Writer of essays, collector of vintage, reader of books, wife of one, mother of two. Subscribe to my monthly love letter: http://eepurl.com/c8IhT5
Alex Fine
Alex B. Fine writes fiction and other things. He lives with an extra medium-sized dog named Marcel.
Jodi Tandet
recovering em dash overuser writing about mental health, dating, pop culture & other oddities — all with humor + Hamilton references //joditandet.strikingly.com
Simon Black
This is not the Simon Black that you know. This is a different Simon Black. He does not work in your organization or live in your city.
Tal Abbady
Tal has written for The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Los Angeles Times, Dame Magazine, BBC, NPR’s Code Switch, Literary Hub, and other publications.
Bebe Nicholson
Writer, editor, publisher, journalist, author, columnist, believer in enjoying my journey and helping other people enjoy theirs.
kiki
writer of the newsletter, I don't believe in astrology (alexkiki.substack.com), for people who believe in astrology
Austin Sorette
Writer for PortsmouthNH.com. Specializes in travel, music, humor, and culture. Enjoys cooking using both of his arms.
Robert Bush
Londoner, hat lover, pals with a Jack Russell. Writing stuff, always trying to improve. Writer in Publishous, Weekly Knob, Junction, The Haven & Picklefork.
Tim Willow
Author of the rebel fish. https://rebelfish.blog A humorous look at life from many different angles.
Molly McCaffrey
is the author of YOU BELONG TO US and HOW TO SURVIVE GRADUATE SCHOOL & OTHER DISASTERS and a contributor to The Independent, Psychology Today, USA Today, etc.
Laura Johnson
Yammering bits. And some blathering. Humor is my first language, my second skin, and my hello.
William Bryan Smith
William Bryan Smith is a Pennsylvania writer who holds an MFA from the Bennington Writing Seminars, is an avid coffee drinker, and is afraid of clowns.
Linda Freund
Bay Area Girl in Barcelona (Bon Dia), Multimedia Journalist, Aspiring Novelist, Microbiome Nerd, Former Journalist with WSJ
Carol Coote
I am a former film executive turned political activist of the liberal kind. I am still passionate about film, mostly foreign and indie films.
Murad Awan
Humor writer. Not as gray-scale in real life. Unless it’s a really cloudy day. Email: muradhere42@gmail.com
Lincoln Daw
Australian. Now living in Oakland, CA. Before in China for 5 yrs. Dappler in stand-up comedy for many many moons. Somewhere between dilettante and professional.
Elle Beau
Writing about power, sex, relationships, and society. SensualEnchantment@gmail.com Twitter @ElleBeau
Molly Stevens
Retired registered nurse and award winning humor writer Molly Stevens (https://www.shallowreflections.com) writes for Humor Outcasts and Better After 50.
Tess Wheeler
Writer, editor and English teacher. Reader and beach-walker. I used to live in Hong Kong and London but now I’m back home in the North East of England.
Joannie Penderwick
Your schizophrenic sherpa through our crazy culture. ❤ music. www.JoanniePenderwick.com Buy me a stairway to hell: www.buymeacoffee.com/JoanniePenderwick
Tanya Bryan
Builder of worlds with words. Short stories, poetry, books, arts & entertainment, movies, language, and creativity. Humour/satire. https://linktr.ee/tanyabryan
Juliette Roanoke
Mother, writer, critical care-neuroscience-and-home health registered nurse, mental health combatant, social justice seeker, truth teller.
C. M. Barrett
Friend of dragons, cats, and other troublemakers. Author of the series, A Dragon’s Guide to Destiny and Dystopia in Drag. Visit cmbarrett.com.
Dave Zill
I’m a writer trapped inside a middle-aged geotechnical salesman’s body. I don’t mind, I love what I do.
Francis Litzinger
I haven’t thought of a pithy way to describe myself or what I write about, so this will have to do. Oh, and most of my stories seem to embarrass my parents.
Atanas Shorgov
Marketer, community manager, life-long learner. Contributing to Better Marketing, a Few Words, the Ascent, and others.
Elise Edmonds
Fantasy Writer. Revels in Magic and Mayhem. Supports Indie Authors. Lover of Cats & Dragons. Ravenclaw. Introvert. http://magicwriter.co.uk
pat obermeier
Five-time Emmy winner, political satirist, novelist, flash fictionist and all-around nice person sharing her take on the world. http://www.patobermeier.com
Bryan Havoc
Healthcare professional moonlighting as a freelance comedy writer, poet, and debuting horror author.
Tom Starita
Tom Starita wrote two novels, “Two Ways to Sunday” and “Growth & Change Are Highly Overrated” — you should read them
Mary Wise
Poetry and personal stories from past lives. Writer, editor, teacher, photographer, and RN. I live in PA with my husband and two children.
Ashley Peterson
Mental health blogger, nurse, living with depression. Author of Making Sense of Psychiatric Diagnosis and Psych Meds Made Simple. https://mentalhealthathome.org
Michael Odhiambo
Michael Odhiambo is a Kenyan with bachelor’s degree in Actuarial Science with IT but is passionate about writing. He writes both fiction and non fiction.
Joseph Thomas
Memphis, TN humor writer for Robot Butt, The Second City, Redeye Chicago, How Pants Work, Slackjaw, & The Establishment. Check it: http://josephthomascomedy.com
Bill DuBay Jr. ⚡️
Writes with a hint of serious, a smidge of funny and a side of magical twists. 📫 Can I send you one story a week? http://eepurl.com/gl33-1
Zach J. Watson
Formerly @MrWatsonSir. An author in Progress. Educator. Poet. Has Not Seen Dwayne Johnson’s Left Bicep in person.
Chelsey Flood
Author, tree worshipper, truth-teller. Writes about learning to live in the light. Talk to me @cjflood_author. www.chelseyflood.com/beautiful-hangover
Nikki Kay
Teacher. Learner. Mom. Storyteller. Idealist. Dog person. Writing all over the Venn diagram of parenting, mental health, self, and humor.
Donna L Roberts, PhD (Psych Pstuff)
Writer and university professor researching media psych, generational studies, human and animal rights, and industrial/organizational psych
Lynda Dietz
Copyeditor. Grammar thug in the nicest, kindest way. I’m not scary, even for an editor. Find me at easyreaderediting.com
Lisa Alex Gray
Sharing my stories with the hope of making you laugh, smile, or at least turn the corners of your mouth upward (I’m easy to please). Thanks for visiting 🌼 Lisa
Shamontiel L. Vaughn
14-year journalist; freelance writer/editor (Upwork); Wag! dog walker; Rover dog sitter; Unity Toastmasters member and 4x officer; Visit Shamontiel.com
Kristin
I'm just a girl in the world. That's all that you'll let me be. https://www.amazon.com/Kristin/e/B0091AA3PW
Caitlin Cook
22-year-old non-fiction/humor writer based in Los Angeles. Cat lady. Anxious mess. The world’s worst bisexual. Twitter - @ccshutup Insta - @cooklincait
Carisa Peterson
Essayist, playwright, copy & content writer by night. Stay-at-home Mom in a Breadwinner's body by day. Twitter/@LynnoType ~ FB/LynnoType ~ carisapeterson.com
Benjamin Soyka
A technology-loving student writing whenever they feel like it and coding whenever they don’t. See more at https://bsoyka.github.io
Sara Gee
Writer & educator. Corner brownie piece apologist. Reflections on womanhood, parenting, race, culture, and grief.
Ryan Fan
Believer, Baltimore City special ed teacher, and 2:40 marathon runner. Diehard fan of “The Wire,” God’s gift to the Earth. E-mail: ryanfan17@gmail.com
Anne Chisom
Writing on whatever strikes my mood, from politics to humor (or a combination of the two), to spirituality, or whatever else shows up. Retired, not in retreat.
Sylvia Wohlfarth
An Irish-Nigerian soul living in Ireland after 40 years in Germany. A social anthropologist, English teacher, and more. With stories to share; and an opinion…
Justine Reed
Divorced Single Mum . Business owner . X Gen . Entrepreneur. MBA I’m not using . Basically getting by on sarcasm and fumes …
Katy Ferry
30-something doing what she can in DC. Formerly of Madrid, Spain & Mobile, AL. Mama of 2, wife of 1. Writing about whatever interests me. Sometimes funny.
Tony Atkinson
Avid reader, fanfiction writer, lots of interests, more opinions. Snapper-up of unconsidered trifles, walker of paths less travelled by.
Keely Carney
Writer. Woman in recovery. Lover of the examined life and learning in public. Founder, Second Chance Initiative: https://scmugs.org/.
Prisca Bejjani
Satire, Gender Issues, Cultural Analysis, Random Stuff. Published in Evie Magazine, Saved Magazine, and Robot Butt. Lover of books, art, ballet, and dogs. 😊
Jennifer Marie Gady
Some things are too painful to say out loud, therefore I write. Editor for The Bad Influence and Periphery.
Christopher Bellkirk
Lead creative @pagefodder. Always against emptiness. Updates at christopherbellkirk.com.
Enrico Sayo
Part-time psychonaut, full-time HR pro. I write about science, psychedelics, metaphysics, and everything else in between.
Emma Webster
Writer living in Oakland, CA. Likes; good books, bad books, pad thai, good boys, bad boys, and hiking. emma-e-webster.com.
Ashley Pryor Geiger
Ashley Geiger is an improvisor and humor writer from Toledo, Ohio. She studies satire and sketch writing at The Second City.
Kelly Eden
I think better with a pen in my hand. Kiwi mum navigating divorce, family, and fresh starts. Connect with me at www.lifewithlittleandlula.com/contact.
Mary McGrath
Mary writes from Los Angeles and Naples, FL. Some of her credits include: Newsweek, Wall St. Journal, Good Housekeeping, and Chicken Soup for the Soul.
Maggie Beaudett
Russian translator writing about mental health, love, sex, and her cats | Words in Thought Catalog, Elephant Journal, The Haven, P.S. I Love you, The Ascent.
Odessa Denby
Writer and editor, former ESL teacher. 4 years in Korea. A maker of things and lover of nature. Twitter: @teacupssaucers Insta: des_the_crafty_fox
Sydney Duke Richey
Crane folder, nature lover, tattoo collector. I’m having fun writing stories and poems that are based on true events. And recent member of the FBTA club.
Judith Deborah
Writer of novels. Lover of Wodehouse. Quaffer of gimlets. Mother of three. Read one of her novels for FREE by going to https://dl.bookfunnel.com/ckbltt70y2.
Julie Amidon-Conklin
Sleepy, Catwoman, dog door opener, queen of the unfinished project, coffee addict, avid reader. https://twitter.com/JulieConklin5
Neil Overy
Freelance researcher / writer /photographer. I write about the intersections between health, social justice and environmental issues. See: www.neilovery.com
Kerim A. Altuncu
22 Curious writer and a student of films and psychology. Currently Italian used to be Canadian and always a Turk.
Sarah Simon
New Yorker at soul living in Uruguay. ¿Cómo andas? Poetry, película, people. goodreads.com/book/show/48497229-core-collection
Hannah M. Moore
Hi, I write from my mind and from my heart, my email list: https://hannahsblog.substack.com/p/coming-soon Buymeacoffee: buymeacoff.ee/hannahsblog
Single Gemma
Diary of a 40-something mom living with 2 kids near NYC. A real-life look @ parenting, party of 1.
Catherine Weingarten
I write comedic things! i also love ice-cream so buy me ice-cream and I’ll be into you foreva. Catherineplaywright.ninja
Tonya S. Ware
Insights for those wanting to persuade, influence, and fascinate. Entrepreneur. Content Marketer. Mother.
Sorry For My Language
Probably The Oldest Millenial with some sort of existential crisis… Yes, I read it out loud. And yes, it made me cringe. www.sorryformylanguage.com
Jazz Ramsy
A Washington Native, Jazz Ramsy loves to visit museums, tourist attractions, hiking trails, big cities and small towns, and discover hidden history
Thanos Antoniou
Socially Awkward | Awkwardly Social | Originally from Earth. Pretending to be opinionated in stuff. https://www.thanosantoniou.com
Diane Corso
Diane Corso is a writer and a walker of dogs living in the San Francisco Bay Area and published the 2009 thriller “Skin and Bones”. www.thecorsopapers.com
Christine Anderson
Satirist, PoliSci nerd, jokester. Love my dogs, writing, traveling and my partner. In no particular order. Writer for MuddyUm & The Haven
Sarah M. Chen
Freelance writer. Migraine slayer. Traveler. https://socalsarahwrites.com. Published crime fiction author. https://sarahmchen.com.
Anupama A
Writer, poet, based out of Bangalore, India. Sometimes, I show you life through a ‘fun’ filter. At other times, life is ‘laid bare’ with no filters.