Aliens Give Secrets of Good Life to US then Quickly Leave
In recent weeks the Pentagon has not only admitted the existence of UFO’s
In recent weeks the Pentagon has not only admitted the existence of UFO’s, preferring to refer to them as “unexplained aerial phenomena,” they have allowed military pilots to comment regarding the phenomena they frequently witness while flying.
However, in a shocking revelation, a Pentagon official has admitted aliens actually sent a communication that was picked up by the military.
General Muff Divvers who oversees Close Encounters, the Pentagon’s multi-billion dollar effort to determine if aliens do exist, spoke with a small group of reporters just hours ago.
“Several days ago we received a coded message from a source hundreds of miles in space where there is no known man-made object,” began the General. “After hours of analysis, we were able to crack the code and decipher the communication.”
However, according to the General, the initial message made no sense.
“It was just random words and phrases like, “Kardashian, Cat Plays Piano, LOL, things like that along with a bunch of emojis,” explained Divvers. “They apparently liked watching TV and monitoring Instagram, Snap-Chat and Facebook. So we had to communicate back to the source and ask for clarification.”
Divvers then explained what it took to be able to communicate with the source.
“We used the same techniques employed by the scientists in the movie ‘Close Encounters of the Third Kind,’” said Divvers. “Building the giant light-board and getting all of the colors and tones right took a while,” said Divvers. “We had to spend hours watching and re-watching parts of the movie in order to get it right.”
Divvers said they knew they had to keep things simple. “So the message we sent back asking for clarification was simply, ‘Huh?’”
“It wasn’t long before we received a response back that opened with, ‘Sorry, our bad.’”
The General said it then took a while to decipher the new, longer message.
“It was quite remarkable,” admitted the General. “It was essentially a list of things to do and not do. It’s like do’s and don’ts for a good life.”
The General then read through a number of items contained in the message which included:
- Be nice to each other
- Help each other
- You are not always right
- You are often wrong
- It’s not bad to be smart or dumb unless you hurt someone
- You are not better than someone else
- Listen
- Actually think through problems
- Belief is not the same as Truth
- Stop lying
- Stop making things up
- Government is not bad; bad people in government are bad
- Tell the Truth
- Stick with facts
Divvers said the message ended with the following:
“We came here because we wanted to help. But after being around for a while it’s time that we leave. You guys scare the shit out of us.”
According to an anonymous source in the Pentagon, the message will be shared with President Biden soon. “The message” according to the source, “was sent to the QAnon community by a couple of white supremacists working in the Pentagon. They’ve been tasked with combing the message for clues about the existence of Jewish space lasers.”
