CULINARY CATS & DELICIOUS DOGS
All-You-Can-Eat Cat & Dog Buffets Thriving In Springfield, Ohio
JD Vance informed us that people are eatin’ good in the neighborhood in Ohio this week. He let the cat out of the bag that everyone in Springfield has full stomachs — from eating cats.
If your pet peeve was you’re not eating enough pets, well then those pet peeves have been squashed into something digestible. Only right wing media knows about this pet feeding frenzy, so why not let the rest of us feast?
At the Trump/Harris Presidential Debate, Donald Trump confirmed this smorgasbord of animals. He informed us people are eating cats, dogs and pets in this midwestern town. Realistically, that would include goldfish too, since fish are universally eaten all over the planet.
The SPCA does not want you to adopt pets to eat. They want you to adopt pets to love. Tell that to the Grand Old Party though. Apparently there’s a grand ol’ party of eating puppies & kitties in O-H (I-O). With this heat wave, people really are eating Hot Dogs.
Right Wing media claims these are all immigrants from Haiti who are starting the new Feline-Canine Diet, but no town officials can confirm any of this. Are the Republicans keeping this new fad diet a secret?
A President & Vice-Presidential candidate are both telling us the same story, so there must be a lot of meat on that bone. Others call these stories crazy, but they’re not getting the protein-rich meals that these Springfieldians are.
Others may be disgusted at hearing the stories of pets getting eaten, like PETA or normal people. It may be more disgusting to blatantly mislead hungry folks about it, who are craving critters. If a former President of The United States says people are eating real-life Puppy Chow, he must be well-informed.
Will people post these meals on Instagram? Can we dig up some more details on this? I think if you bring your appetite to Ohio, you can get your own answers for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
