An Adverb Argues…Convincingly
I ask you, honestly…what do you have against me?
I’ve served you, indefatigably, since the beginning of time.
Verily, verily I say unto you…
Why do you erroneously presume a phrase speaks more effectively than I?
You say, he walked across the room, putting one slow foot in front of the other.
Oh, come on! Is that truly better than, he walked slowly across the room?
You say, he sauntered toward the other side of the immaculate room, distracted by the wind pounding at the French doors.
Well. I suppose. But to put it differently, he walked distractedly toward the other side of the recently cleaned room, hearing only the wind pounding furiously at the French doors. Doesn’t that work equally well?
She laid the egg carefully on the table. Isn’t that said more succinctly than, she laid the egg on the table taking great care not to crack it against the peeling green paint? Besides, what do I care about the table with its peeling green paint?
I say, she sat down wearily in front of the fire.
You say, the pine chair her grandfather made creaked as she plopped onto it in front of the fire.
I say, she smiled beguilingly. Admittedly a bit awkward.
But I ask you, why isn’t that as good as her smile was beguiling?
I say, he patted the top of her head affectionately. I definitely like that better than, the top of her head felt the gentle warmth of his hand. Yuck!
Would it help to surround us with commas? He walked, hesitantly, into the room?
Or alone? He walked into the room. Hesitantly.
Writing teachers (our worst enemies) tell you not to use us…that when you do, you are writing fearfully or lazily.
(I suppose you would say, your writing is fearful or lazy. Yawn.)
Oh, whatever. Anyway, I certainly hope you won’t treat me unfairly. Write confidently, truthfully, energetically. Sometimes slowly, thoughtfully. At times hastily (like when a deadline approaches inexorably). Angrily, of course! Most definitely creatively. But never, never carelessly.
And I promise I will be duly grateful for my adjective and phrase friends and will work with them as frequently and as easily as I possibly can. I promise most heartily.
And now I bid you a sincere farewell…really.
