An asteroid, NASA’s warning and my escape plan

Recently, whenever I open my phone and go to the news page, the first article that comes up is the warning from NASA about a huge asteroid rapidly coming towards Earth. The first few times I ignored but the warning persisted. So I decided to take it seriously and started chalking out a plan.

Plan A: Identify the place of crash and escape — 66 million years ago an asteroid killed the dinosaurs. The species that survived were birds.

Why? Because birds could fly and also because dinosaurs didn’t have passport! My escape plan was obvious. Find out the location of crash and buy a ticket and fly somewhere safe. So I took out my passport and a world map and sat down. Unfortunately my passport had expired!

There was not enough time to renew it and escape. Also the crash site was not very clear in the warning news. So I moved on to plan B.

My plan B was basically to give advice to dear Earth and other space objects on how to dodge this massive asteroid.

Advice 1: Act like an introvert and avoid eye contact. If you are an introvert , you know this situation too well. Think of all the times you had to suddenly look away or stare at the phone while walking past someone you know to avoid conversation! We could try that here.

Dear Earth, be an introvert for next few days and avoid eye contact. May be we will get lucky and avoid this unpleasant encounter totally.

Advice 2: What I have read is , thanks to our loving neighbour Jupiter , a large number of collisions are averted. Many many comets and asteroids have been deflected away by our darling Jupiter’s gravity. There is nothing wrong in asking for help.

Dear Jupiter, now is the time to step up into the Kdrama male lead role and protect the damsel in distress, Mother Earth. You can do it !

For your reference..

Advice 3: Stand up for ourselves and fight it head on.

Dear Earth, gather all your greenhouse gases and face that asteroid . Just when it enters our atmosphere, kill it, blast it off and break it into pieces !!

And while you are at it, you know how our city roads are ! They are full of potholes.

May be you can deflect all those broken stones such that they land on our broken roads directly and cover up the potholes .

May be these extraterrestrial stones from the asteroid can fix our roads once for and all !!

Dear humans, if nothing else works, just do that thing that any stressed out person would do!!

SLEEP IT OFF !!! (And renew your passport ! )