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An Exciting Company Zoom Meeting with Your CEO

Cringy buzzwords, vague insights, and en masse layoffs ahead

Sarah Paris
The Haven
5 min readJan 6, 2025

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A handsome man in a suit poses
Parker Hensley. CEO. AI image by TheDigitalArtist/Pixabay (Note the double Adams apple)

Hi, team. Thanks for joining me from your locations around the world. As an entirely remote startup team, you guys continue to inspire me.

I know 8:15 a.m. EST is extremely early for those of you joining from the West Coast and after midnight for our Australian family. The good news is, I’ll keep this Zoom call short. Some of you will have a hard stop time of 8:30 a.m. EST, and I’m going to ask others to stick around until 9:00 a.m. EST.

Most of you already know me from the issues of the company newsletter, My Amazing Life Journey, that I mark “urgent” and send daily. Each issue contains details of my latest trips on my yacht, the amazing locations I visit every month, absolutely nothing related to your work, and includes my profound insights on how you, my team, should live your personal lives.

The newsletters are a mandatory read, so I guess all of you do know me. Ha Ha.

I’m the CEO here at Accountable Authenticity Solutions, Parker Henley. We’re all family at AAS. A family of rockstars doing what we do best — empowered, authentic accountability in action. I just want to thank you all for thinking outside of the box to remain accountable. And authentic. I’m…

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The Haven
The Haven

Published in The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Sarah Paris
Sarah Paris

Written by Sarah Paris

Author of Signs My Toddler Has a Drinking Problem (humor collection).Freelance writer of all things. Looper features writer. Believer. Adventurer. Semi- funny.

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