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The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

An Important Message from Your Friends at The Covid Times

Welcome aboard! We hope you enjoy your free trial

3 min readFeb 11, 2022

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Photo by Cottonbro at Pexels

It’s been a hectic couple of years but we’re doing our best to get to you as soon as possible!

When delivery is scheduled for your neighborhood, you won’t have to do anything to get your very own copy of Covid Times.

Our dedicated teams of Variant Messenger Elves will deliver Covid Times directly into your home at NO COST TO YOU. That’s right. You won’t even need to walk as far as your mailbox! Your neighbors will never see you sneaking your Covid Times inside.

Covid Times is serviced by millions of Variant Messenger Elves, with millions more applying every day. These dedicated carriers of Covid Times will go the extra mile, even deliver copies to your child’s school or playground, again at NO COST TO YOU!

However, if you simply cannot wait for delivery you can easily pick up Covid Times at the following places in your neighborhood:

Your local Starbucks or any other food, beverage, or retail outlet.

Any hard or soft surface of anything, really, but only for up to three days.

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The Haven
The Haven

Published in The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Sylvia Mulholland
Sylvia Mulholland

Written by Sylvia Mulholland

AmeriCanadian, half Ukrainian trademark attorney & writer. MFA from AFI. Fellowship winner. Published three novels, two with traditional publishers.

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