An Inner Demon’s Response To A Job Ad For A Muse
A hella good path to fame.
Dear Fledgling Writer,
I am writing in response to your job post seeking a Muse.
First, I am filled with hellfire at your disclaimer that Inner Demons need not apply. That is discrimination, pure and simple. However, I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt since you are a fledgling writer. Maybe you don’t have a business advisor or mentor to help prevent you from making such rookie HR mistakes.
Having gotten that off my chest let me share with you how I can help you further your career per the listed job duties.
- Poetic words — I have got some serious words. Words like fisticuffs, quixotic, numinous, and hubris just to name a few.
- Plot assistance — You better believe I know how to move a plot forward. After spending a few thousand years in Hell, I have seen it all.
- Emotional support animal — I can be humanoid or animal. Just let me know.
- Good looking — I am hotter than Hell. I work out twice a day in the Purgatoria gym.
- Several thousand years pushing writers, artists, singers, and more to their best work.
- Ph.D. in Serpentology
- I don’t have any formal modeling experience, but I was one of the performers for my client’s video that you might have seen:
A few of my former clients include Dante Alighieri, Ernest Hemingway, Sylvia Plath, Right Said Fred (both brothers), Jim Morrison, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, and Oscar the Grouch.
Compensation Requirements: I am happy to forego any salary in exchange for your soul.