An Obituary for Someone Nobody Liked
This guy was the worst
Payton Burdette, 26, Xenia, OH. Finally went to be with the Lord on April 2, 2030.
He was born on April 4, 2003, in Kettering, Ohio. He barely graduated from Sinclair Community College with a degree in Business. No woman was desperate enough to marry him. He was survived by no one.
Payton Steven Burdette lived in Ohio all of his life. While he didn’t accomplish much in his short life, it’s probably for the best it ended so soon. A true burden to his community, Payton spent his final three years on earth unemployed. Despite constant gripes from his parents, Payton never moved out of their home. He leeched off his family and friends for any sort of profits he could attain, blowing what little money he did have on sports gambling. Being a gambling addict wasn’t enough for him, so he started an underground company that allowed minors to place bets on their local high school football games.
Fortunately, he was murdered last week after getting into some gambling debts with the wrong people.
“Anyone better think twice before they take out a loan with us,” tweeted Chase Banks last Thursday. The owner of the bank selflessly denied rumors of him being the killer.
