An Open Letter to People Who Still Write Open Letters
To Whom It May Concern,
I feel that it is my sad duty to inform the public that the open letter is dead. It is with no joy that I make this announcement but one I feel compelled to give as a somewhat informed citizen.
No longer will our carefully crafted communiques and alliterations be read when used to inform the public about the need to lower a speed limit on the main thoroughfare through our beloved township.
No longer will our rambling sentences continue without regard for punctuation or proper grammar or style; sentences that go on in the hope that a semicolon is used correctly when, perhaps, a period should have been used instead.
No longer will we be able to browbeat an uninterested public with three sentences in a row that pose as paragraphs.
Like the last of the dodo birds our forced similes have been bludgeoned into obscurity by the relentless affront of technology. Our misconstrued metaphors were a shooting star that shined brightly for a moment before plunging into the barren concrete of public sentiment.
Like the evening paper, the very medium we have relied upon for centuries to voice our unwanted opinions and overly obscure references has passed on to sleep the sleep begotten from the Greek deity Hypnos.
