And That Is How She Ruined Star Wars.
For the last few months, I’ve been watching a Star Wars film every Wednesday night with two of my daughters. One of which has never seen Star Wars. I know, bad parenting.
General review, she enjoyed four, five, and six. Thought seven, eight, and nine were OK. Enjoyed the standalone films; Solo is “underrated.” But the prequel trilogy, well, she refuses to talk about them.
After week two, just as the crawler started to make its way up the screen, she’d ask a question, and slowly over the weeks, she has ruined Star Wars for me. It started with me going “oh I don’t, good question” to “Why have I never thought of that?” and ended by episode seven just asking her, “How are you going to ruin Star Wars today?”
For die-hard Star Wars fans, these may not be groundbreaking questions, but for a casual fan like me, they are. I think I may have been wasting my time all these years.
— “How do the speeders float if you turn off the engine?”
All of the land speeders and bikes in the Star Wars universe use an anti-gravity unit to keep them off the ground. But it seems as they all float all the time, they don’t need the unit to be turned on.
— “If Darth Vader knew Luke was his son, why doesn’t he know about Leia?”
Based on Episode Four, Old Darthy and Leia seem to have met before. He knows Luke is his son as he felt his presence though the force. But he never felt Leia
— “Why do the good guys runaway from everything?”
The rebels seem to have a battle and run off to a new secret base every movie. Luke spends longer running off to train/hide than he does with his friends.
— “Why do the droids have a personality?”
Droids are essentially just appliances. Could you imagine having a toaster say “Oh another bagel, someone’s not afraid of carbs” in C3-PO’s voice? Or a washing machine commenting on the fact you spilled BBQ sauce on you blouse. “Let them know your a pig did we?” So why do they all seem to have a distinct personality? We see a robot being tortured by having hot steel put on the soles of its presumably steel feet. It has a personality, not nerves.
— “Who made C3-PO? Wasn’t it Darth Vader?”
Yes, it was, so it’s a little odd that he never recognises him.
— “Why didn’t they change Luke Skywalker’s name”
The Empire’s storm troopers are notoriously bad shots. But the Empire is just as bad at investigating. Did they think to look in the phone book? Lukes is still living on the planet he lived on with his mother and stepfather, with the same name. It’s hardly witness protection.
There’s more, almost one a week, but these were the big ones for me. I may have to start watching Star Trek, but she’d only ruin that.
