Anderson Cooper 360⁰ Exclusive: Noted Blogger Christine Stevens Has Not Posted in 48 Consecutive Hours
America in shock. Parents distraught. Russia implicated.
8:27 AM EDT. Anderson Cooper 360⁰, “Anderson Cooper”
CNN has just learned that Christine Stevens, a prolific writer of off-color humor and editor of the obscure online humor magazine The Haven, was reported missing last night after uncharacteristically failing to post any new content for 48 hours. We will continue to follow this breaking story as it unfolds. Moving now to a live feed from our affiliate in Los Angeles.
8:29 AM EDT. Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department Spokesperson, “Sgt. O’Reilly”
Friends of one Christine Stevens reported her missing last night. We were given the following description: female, brown hair, young or at least youngish, white or whitish, and quite photogenic. As she fits the profile of a missing youngish whitish photogenic female, her case has been elevated to our Obsessive Attention Team (OAT, sponsored by Oatly Group AB, makers of totally vegan Oatly Oat Milk, and yeah fuckers, we’re going to keep calling it milk). LACSD/OAT has dedicated a “Brunette Level” of resources to the…
