Anthony Scaramucci Considers Options for His Men’s and Women’s Fragrance Lines
Fleeting Dreams
Light citrusy undertones mask a clinging Patchouli resin that can’t believe things are over already because, hey, this all started off pretty great.
Eternally Flummoxed
Bold notes of wisteria and evergreen sap engage in an epic olfactory battle to create a scent that’s hard to get a handle on and will require a lot of follow-up questions and at least one Lifetime Original Movie.
I Swear
Honesty is the best policy, so let them know who you are right away with a one-two punch of cherry blossoms and tactless bologna extract.
Barely There
Forget-me-nots, freesia, and crushed thyme perform a seventh-grade-dance around one another, never really landing but definitely lingering so that you wonder, Did I even spray it?
Nothing Lasts Forever
Leather oil and sawdust essence provide a stark reminder of hard truths and reality. There’s just no getting around this scent.
Should I Stay? Or…?
Citral notes, vanilla resin, and maple syrup create a sickly sweet ensemble that should be worn during situations in which you anticipate uncertainty and profuse sweating, such as a job interview, a speech, or a court testimony. Embarrassing? Potentially. Enchanting? Absolutely.
10 Night Stand
Every single item from the Taco Bell menu and a handle of Grey Goose mashed up and titrated into a delicate bottle that you can wear around your neck and that will forever serve as a reminder of this terrible time in your life.
Shameless
A versatile fragrance, this combination of peppermint extract and onion jam will have you saying, “That’s refreshing,” and then, “Never mind, I was wrong, I hate everything about this.”
You Can All Go To Hell
Balm of Gilead fuses with Balsam of Peru to create an aromatic fire-furnace perfect for burning cars and bridges and leaving them in your gasoline wake. Oh, it also smells like gasoline.
Bitter River
A symphony of wilted roses and decaying daffodils collected from an aging dog’s water bowl signal a distinct flavor of longing and despair.
Lonely Little Cowboy
Cinnamon, deer musk, and rotting cedar recall everything good in your life that got destroyed because of the Wild West choices you made, and you have the ghosts, chaps, and divorce papers to prove it.
Absolute Shitstorm
A collection of shit that’s hit the fan, shits in pants, shits in brick form, and all the little shits you’ve ever encountered in your life.
Beginning’s End
This one smells exactly like the pages of a book, an autobiography to be specific.
