Are UFOs Illegal Aliens or Just Our Neighbors?
Our government recently admitted it doesn’t know what some UFOs in our skies are. But it declared they are not extraterrestrials. So no need for joy or panic or to keep UFOs on our radar screens.
Good thing too, because if they were space visitors it would create a huge problem for the current administration. It would seem like more illegal aliens are flooding across borders and we’re not doing anything about it.
That’s not exactly true. After President Biden recently had the Chinese spy balloon destroyed, he also ordered some other UFOs shot down. Biden’s policy of “when in doubt, shoot it out” has not led to any complications yet.
But could it? If these objects were extraterrestrial observers, how should they feel about being shot down? One Pentagon official speculated that UFOs are possibly drones launched from a mother ship lurking somewhere in our solar system.
If so, it’d be a short drive to Earth. Once they get here, hopefully kids won’t be observing “Grandma, what big guns they have.”
The best method of repelling an invasion by illegal aliens is to build a wall. This has always been difficult on Earth but with no gravity in space it will be easier. To protect the planet, the wall would have to be round like the candy shell around an M & M. But the sun shouldn’t be able to melt it, nor lasers, nukes or anything else.
There’ll have to be guards to monitor this wall and we’re starting to staff up already — the unit is called the Space Force. This group can be housed in the first of many forts to be built along the new frontier — the International Space Station. If any shooting needs to be done to repel invaders, just like in forts of the old west, it can be done through the windows.
To be credible the Space Force needs a couple things: a uniform, a ride and a ray gun. Uniforms are easy, some already exist and others are under development. Sadly none are as cool as the ones the Mandalorian or Iron Man wore. Most are fabric and pretty standard fare.
The spaceship is more difficult. Unfortunately some we build now blow up soon after launch. That makes for a bumpy ride. If life was like a movie, scientists could just reverse engineer the UFO that never crashed and never existed at Roswell.
Ray guns are still out of reach. The semi-effective models have to be mounted on our aircraft and battleships. But handheld units are common at laser tag arcades.
If we want to allow space aliens to visit or live here, more infrastructure will have to be built. It would manage another wall and provide administration of aliens who pass through the border. There’d be massive costs resulting in massive debt. Fortunately the debt ceiling has been raised. Good news too — lots of jobs would be created.
Smuggling is one concern that will have to be addressed. Some parties claim UFOs kidnap people. We don’t allow human trafficking on Earth and certainly would crack down on it in space. Likewise there can be no inter-racial marriages for the purposes of moving unborn children across the border.
Space immigrants will face the same questions as the earthbound ones. Why are you here, how long are you staying, are you carrying drugs or weapons? Some aliens, even space aliens, will have an easier time of it if they already have family living here. One college professor was recently quoted in the media as saying extraterrestrials have been living alongside us here for years.
If our immigration systems work as they should, only a small percentage of aliens will be allowed to stay here. They’ll be welcomed to their new homes with suspicion, prejudice, hate — all the best we can give. A war of words will begin — neighbor versus neighbor.
It’s then the aliens will realize none of us favor immigration. What we really want is a war of the worlds.
