Are You A Complete Asshole?
Scientists discover foolproof method to find out.
These scientists have too much free time, that’s what I think. But anyway, these guys at the University of Georgia did a bunch of surveys. They asked people the question: “Who’s the biggest asshole you know.”
Surprisingly, most people can answer that question right away. Isn’t that interesting? I know who the biggest asshole in my life is. He’s this TV director who married a friend of mine. Directors are actually paid to be assholes.
You know I read about the band leader Benny Goodman, who made all that nice music in the 30s and 40s. He was known to be the biggest prick to work for. But in his own defense he said, “Hey, you become a band leader, you become a prick. It’s either that or have a shitty band.”
I guess if you’re not a complete asshole, your TV show will turn out to be shitty too. You have to boss everyone around and not listen to any complainers or whiners. You have to be an ass and kick people off the set if they suck at their jobs. Oh, and they will suck at their jobs. Humans have a habit of sucking at their jobs.
To my “friend”, the biggest asshole I know, the bossiness comes naturally. It’s fine on the set. But socially, it’s disgusting. If we go to a restaurant, suddenly he’s ordering for…
