Are You Sure You Want To Move In Together?

Top ten reasons not to move in with that jerk who calls himself your boyfriend

Christine Stevens
The Haven

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Photo by HiveBoxx on Unsplash

Oh I know, playing house seems like such a fun thing. Remember when you used to play with Barbies, and you pretended you and Ken were moving in together and living happily ever after shacked up? Yeah, it’s not like that in real life.

In real life, the man who moves in with you becomes a major pain in the ass SO RAPIDLY you won’t believe it. The journey from being his romantic partner to being his mommy is like a high-speed train. And by that, I mean a high-speed train in China, one that actually gets built, as opposed to the imaginary high-speed trains we have been talking about for decades in the US.

Why does this happen? I guess cause boys really love their mommies and you kind of look like their mommy and you know how to do dishes and stuff better than they do and you like doing laundry, right? Yeah, sure you do.

But you know what? Let’s not be too hard on the fellas. There’s obviously something going on over here on our side of the street too. Why do we let ourselves become their mommies? That’s what I’d like to know. Oh, because we have some mommy hormone coursing through our veins and it makes us want to take care of things and people. God damn us!!!

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Christine Stevens
The Haven

Funny lady, writer of satire and sex, proud Californian. Like me? You can buy me a coffee here: https://buymeacoffee.com/xtinesteveO. Cheers!