Beauty Competition

photo by author using Jacques Cousteau’s cell phone

Winner of Miss Merchant Marine 2024

The one that got away…with the trophy

“Thunk!” What was that? That was the sound of your jaw dropping and denting the floor after getting a look at the glistening beauty of Miss Merchant Marine of 2024 : Finnestra Bońehchelli.

Who ever thought a mermaid could win a beauty contest or even come up with the entrance fee? Well this one could & did! Killer bod, right? An hourglass figure minus most of the sand. All fish and bones plus an adorable tail fin to replace the water jets in your hot tub with a bubble action that would leave you hairless via carbonation.

And look at those love handles. Very few men or even manatees could say their girlfriends had hips that looked like a coat hanger. Sexy and practical, especially if your closet had no room for all those tie dyed hazmat suits.

Wearing a fish hat, alone, makes Finnestra more than your lagoon, loving mermaid. A bit of high fashion decor that shows she’s not waiting for a resurgence of this apparel to become trendy again. Just because you don’t see Oscar winners wearing them doesn’t mean you can’t. She will put it back on the tide pool map for good!

Then there’s her lofty musical talent that some liken to an advanced Beethoven with a sprinkling of Iggy Pop. The ukulele in her grasp produces a musical language that only Beethoven could hear…way after he was deaf.

How Finnestra publishes the first book of porpoisespeak will be revealed in the next installment.