Satire
Because of Unexpected Flight Cancellations, Our Airline is in the Tough Position of Asking You to Join Our Credit Card Rewards Program
Please join.
We’re so sorry that, because of circumstances that we were woefully underprepared for, your flight has been canceled. We realize that this is a major setback since you’ll now be stuck at this airport for a few days. To help you through this difficult time, would you please sign up for our airline’s credit card rewards program?
You should feel special. We specifically targeted you for this credit card offer since we saw the look of total despair on your face when you looked at the monitors and saw that the last flight out of here flashed “CANCELED” in big red letters. That must have been hard.
This is actually the best time to ask you since you’re preparing to sleep on some uncomfortable and dingy chairs in a cold part of the terminal while somehow keeping track of your four children. Rest assured that the baggage we already took from you will make it to your destination even though you will not.
Seriously, though, this card will help you get over your canceled flight since you can get like 100,000 points after spending $1,000 in the first three months of having it. You can reach that…
