You Need to Read This Before You Become a Vampire
It’s not reversible, like, say, getting a tattoo. But that’s just the beginning…
Years ago, when I was living in Ottawa eking out a living as a UNIX systems administrator, I was very lonely. I met a man online. This was before online dating was a big thing. Before you could swipe right or left, depending on whether you liked the cut of someone’s jib.
He seemed like a genuinely decent, intelligent, interesting human being, and so, imagine my surprise when he casually informed me that he was a vampire. This was during our fourth or fifth phone conversation. On an actual phone because almost nobody had cell phones back then. It was the olden days.
Honest and Popular Do Not Go Together
I was more naïve back then. I was only 24. Can I use that as an excuse? I did not even know that vampires existed! I was under the delusion that they were a fun, if sometimes frightening, fiction. Unfortunately, this did not bode well for my budding friendship with this man-pire because I am not the type to just quietly accept the delusions of others. Would that I were. How much simpler life would be.
Initially, when I told him I was not certain vampires were real, he patiently explained that I was the…
