Being Marooned Doesn’t Have To Turn Gay

Keeping it straight when shipwrecked on an island with hot guys might just save your life.

David Grann’s book “The Wager” is about a group of intrepidly sexy sailors who attempt to sail around Cape Horn at the tip of South America. However, due to violent weather, their ship, the Wager, crashes into some rocks and strands them on a deserted island.

I haven’t finished the book, but I can only assume that once on the island, the sailors, whose clothes were washed away in the tempest, succumb to their primal urges and start making out so furiously that they forget to find food and die.

This is quite common with shipwrecks, and hundreds of tan, buff sailors needlessly lose their lives every year because they can’t control themselves. It’s a damn shame but completely avoidable if you follow these lifesaving tips:

Shelter Before Seduction

Any survivalist worth their salt will tell you that finding shelter should be the first thing you do when stranded on a deserted island.

You might see some of your crewmates crying and frightened and think they need hugs and a sensual back rub, but now’s not the time.