Bookmarks From Hell — A List of Unsavory, Alarming and Downright Nasty Things Librarians Have Found In Library Books

A dead frog

A used band-aid

A squashed and leaking Ketchup packet.

Bedbugs

A tampon

Toe nail clippings

Dozens of baby roaches

A slice of bacon

Boogers

A used Q-Tip

A used condom (and it was in a Bible!)

A grilled cheese sandwich

Dental Floss

Used Kleenex

Toilet Paper (and this happens ALL the time..)

Pubic hair

An ad for lap dances (in a children’s book!)

Questionable food stains

A dirty diaper

Pornographic photos

A slice of bologna

Attention library patrons! The next time you’re tempted to mark your place in one of our books with insects, snacks, porn or anything that used to be part of your body? Please do us library workers a big favor and JUST DOG-EAR THE @#$% PAGE!

(Roz Warren is the author of Our Bodies Our Shelves: A Collection Of Library Humor and Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library: An Insider Looks At Library Life. )