Break a leg!
The good, the bad and the sometimes strange life of an actor
Every actor dreams about it, the first time in front of the camera. From the time I could walk and talk, I wanted to perform. I’d spend hours in front of the TV watching movies. Oh, how I wanted to be Scarlet in Gone with the Wind, or Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday. I just knew I could do it, I could be a star…
Flash forward, many years later and here was my “big” break. My first time in front of the camera. The gig was as a background actor, but, hey, you have to start somewhere, right?
The year; 1998, the location; Wall Street, NYC, call time; late evening. I was booked as a Business Executive on a Japanese commercial for Mister Donut, a chain of donut shops similar to Dunkin Donuts here in the US. I was told this was going to be a large background call, about 100 background actors (BGAs). Our wardrobe was an upscale business suit with nice pumps (high heels) and briefcase and purse. We were also asked to bring a raincoat. I was so excited and since it was my first time, I went all out. I wore my best skirt suit, my nicest shoes, not the most comfortable but ridiculously fabulous and I even took great care with my hair and makeup. I mean I looked like a Fortune 500 Executive. I would later, much later in the evening regret having been so perfect with my wardrobe, especially the shoes.
I remember arriving downtown late in the evening. It was a Saturday. The streets of this usually busy and crowded part of town were relatively quiet except for the actors and crew that made up this particular commercial production. We were shooting outside in front of an old Wall Street bank that looks like the Lincoln Memorial (minus the statue of Lincoln).
I arrived on set and my jaw dropped. I saw a NYC taxi cab turned upside down on the sidewalk, another car torn in half, pieces of building concrete all over the street and the sidewalk, I mean it looked like a war zone. I had never seen anything so cool in my life! Yay, I’m in the movie business!!!! I’m an actor!!! All these thoughts are running through my head. My heart is pumping, I’m nervous, I’m excited, I’m thrilled. This is what I always wanted. All I need is a private dressing room and a director’s chair with my name on the back and I’m good to go. Okay, so I was delusional.
Yes, the set was amazing but in my childlike exuberance I did not see the huge crane with a large contraption that looked like King Kong’s showerhead hovering over the street nor did I see the two excessively large fans (image the jet engines of a 747) that were strategically placed around the set. I will get to those instruments of torture later.
The crew and production staff, as I recall, were very nice. They were, for the most part, English speaking. However, the director, the 1st assistant director (1st AD) , the director of photography (DP) and cameraman, were Japanese and did not speak a word of English. Furthermore, the producers as well as the Mister Donut representatives were also Japanese and did not speak English. So we had translators who would be the middlemen between all these men and the rest of the crew. Yes, it was a mess, just like you are imagining it in your head.
Now, let me explain what the commercial is about. In 1998, Hollywood remade Godzilla, the movie. If you recall it was the big thing that summer, so the Ad agency for Mister Donut thought of this great “original” idea. Wouldn’t it be funny to do a spoof of Godzilla attacking NYC? But instead of the monster, it would be a giant Mister Donut man?
People would be running down the street, dodging the building debris as this giant Mister Donut man stomps through the streets. Hum, I wonder where they got this idea?
In case you can’t imagine what this commercial is going to look like let me help you. I’ve posted this picture of the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man from the 1984 movie, Ghostbusters.
Okay, moving on.
We (the 100 BGAs) are positioned in various spots throughout the street and when the 1st AD yells “action” we are going to be running for our lives, looking terrified. No problem. This is going to be like stealing candy from a baby, it’s so easy.
I’m standing on my mark ready for my first time in front of the camera. My heart is beating, the adrenaline is pumping. I’m going to be running from behind the camera into the frame, past the upside-down taxi cab, and into a building.
REHEARSING…READY…BACKGROUND…ACTION!
I start running, I’m looking back. OMG! It’s the monster! It’s going to get us. Run, run for our lives! I pass the upside-down taxi, BGAs are everywhere, it’s chaos, perfect!
CUT!
We rehearse a few times. The director seems happy, he’s smiling and bowing a lot. Okay, I think we are ready to make cinematic magic. We go back to our positions. But this time, the 1st AD motions to the translator, who I think is the 2nd AD. They talk in Japanese. The 2nd goes over to the center of the street and grabs a large bullhorn. We listen. This is what I remember he said, “We are ready to shoot. Now, we are going to put on the wind machines. Please do not run directly in front of them. Run diagonally to the wind. It will be easier to move. After a few shots with just the wind, we will turn on the rain machines. Everyone with umbrellas please take them out. Okay, I think we are ready to shoot. Please watch out for your fellow actor in front and next to you when you are running and please watch out for the debris on the floor as well.”
Huh? Wind? Rain? But I don’t have an umbrella…
BACKGROUND, BACK TO ONE!
I walk over to my starting position. Now I’m a little nervous.
READY…WIND…the jet propellers startup…RAIN…the water machine goes on, it’s a downpour…BACKGROUND….ACTION!
OMG! I’m in a hurricane. I can barely run the wind is so strong. The rain is pelting my head. But I run, looking back at the imaginary Stay Puft Marshmellow Man, oh, sorry, I meant the imaginary Mr. Donut Man. I dodge some debris on the street as well as a fellow BGA who’s umbrella almost hits me in the face, I keep running. There are puddles forming on the street. My fabulous shoes are getting ruined. My suit is dripping wet. But I keep running…CUT!
WE’RE GOING AGAIN….BACKGROUND, BACK TO ONE!
We do it again and again and again and again….
For hours I fought the wind, the rain, the cold, the unruly umbrellas, and the debris on the floor. But mostly I fought my growing desire to kill the Japanese director and the advertisers whose brilliant idea this was.
We shot ALL NIGHT long until the first rays of light appeared in the sky and my suit, shoes, and body could not take the torture anymore.
In the end, I think I made $100. I was non-union at the time so I received no compensation for the water and rain machines. Had it been a SAG job, obviously things would have been a little different. But I didn’t know any better. This was my introduction to the real world of make-believe. When I got home, my husband asked me if it was all I thought it would be. I thought about it for a moment. No. It had not been. It was awful, I might have caught pneumonia and my favorite suit and shoes are ruined.
But I couldn’t wait to do it again! I’m an actor.
