Butt-hole conversations: A woman’s best friend
The woman had a habit of walking around naked in her home. After all, she lived alone in a third story apartment with her little puppy, so… why not?
That day she had a nice long bath, dried herself and flopped face down on her sunlit sofa by the window and fell into a deep sleep. Her puppy, now left to his own devices, made an adventure of mountaineering to the top of his owner’s rather ample buttocks. Once conquered, he found it to be a nice and cushiony surface to rest his own butt on, as he beheld his world from this new high vantage point….. and that’s how their butt-holes met.
AH: Hey! How’s it going? Can you speak my language?
DAH: Woof! Well my owner speaks dog, but I speak butt so… yes, of course.
AH: Pleasure to meet you! Never met another like me before, let alone one from another species. This is definitely exciting!
DAH: Same, my dear fellow, same.
AH: How’s your gas situation?
DAH: Oh dear me. You have no idea. You would not believe the amount of gas this little soul can hold. It’s like a compressed oxygen tank. And he is certainly not afraid to “toot his horn” as you might say, with no warning whatsoever. How’s yours?
AH: Aha! Well, my owner has the most weird tendencies. She seems to take great pains to clench me shut at certain times. Mostly when she’s at fancy restaurants with company. Especially when said company is single male friends. But when she’s on her own, she’s lets it go free and easy. Toots galore…
DAH: Interesting! Any idea why the selective environs?
AH: Not in the slightest.
DAH: How’s your garbage-disposal situation?
AH: Pretty bland. Mostly salad intake, you know, health conscious stuff. Consistent as they come. How about yours?
DAH: It’s like a skunk party. And you won’t believe the things that come out. Rocks, plants, plastics, hair… even glass! Almost anything small that is down the lane outside the house doesn’t escape a trip through the system. It’s a kaleidoscope of garbage.
AH: Wow! Does it hurt you?
DAH: Sometimes, but he doesn’t seem to care. In fact, I’m pretty hardy, so doesn’t really bother me that much.
AH: You know, sometimes, I kinda wish I had some spicy-ness in my life… a change from the ordinary, you know.
DAH: Dear fellow… be happy with your lot. It’s better than living on the edge all the time. Trust me. Oops! Looks like I’m moving.
AH: And he’s gone. Guess she wasn’t thrilled about sleeping with a puppy-butt on hers.
