CAN I TRADEMARK MY ASS?

I get assed all the time

Photo by Alexandre Weiss on Pixels

So you think you have a great ass? Really special? Maybe even spectacular? People tell you all the time. So you want to somehow nail it down or lock it up so nobody can copy or use it? Totally understandable. Let’s see what we can do by way of a Federal Trademark Registration.

Caveat: If your ass is an artistic work, such as the one above, you would better…