Religious Food Choices
Can the new religion you choose feed the multitude of cravings you have?
They say you shouldn’t go grocery shopping hungry. But choosing a religion is more complicated than that. Well, it’s still shopping, shopping for a religion, but food can be a deciding factor.
Jesus famously turned water into wine, and bread and fish into more bread and fish. If you’re choosing Christianity, will he help turn your groceries into more groceries? Can Jesus reverse Shrinkflation in your home?
If it was a clear ‘yes’, it would be an easy choice to join the religion. But you’re supposed to believe even if you don’t see. And you may not see your food multiply if you join the Christians.
Moses lead the Jewish people to the Red Sea, where he parted it, and there was absolutely no food — or fish at the bottom of the sea floor. You’d figure there’d be some fish flipping around, but there was nothing.
If you join the Jewish faith, they do Kosher meals. It’s all about blessing the food. What if you’re hungry, and no one’s around to bless it, can you eat it? If you’re strict to the religion, not really.
If you’re thinking of joining the Muslim religion, Islamic law says you can’t drink alcohol and you can’t eat pork. So are you allowed to crush beers on the weekend? Not if you stick to the rules. Can you go get some BBQ, even smoke your own meat? Again, no.
If you’d like to join Buddhism, it’s not as easy going as you think. Besides meat, they also want you to avoid strong-smelling plants. That means no onion, garlic and chives. Thats less and less options for flavor, or at the very least good toppings on your veggie pizza.
If you’re a Scientologist, you can eat at any LA restaurant. That’s pretty good. You got to pay your own way though. So be mindful of that when ordering from the menu.
Depending on when you want to switch religions, a good idea may be to eat before. Then go into the religion store and shop your heart’s content.
