Catch your Flight or Buy a Soft Pretzel?
Having a successful career and fulfilling social life hardly compares to the joy of eating a soft pretzel. Unfortunately, the elusive soft pretzel is difficult to find in the wild. Not only are they nearly impossible to make at home, but they only appear in strange locations, such as the mall, the zoo, and the airport. This provides a predicament for soft pretzel-lovers everywhere. If you’re running late at the airport, do you catch your flight, or do you use that time to buy a soft pretzel?
Consider your level of hunger. If you need a snack, forget about your flight and buy a soft pretzel. There’s no way you can get on an airplane if you’re hungry. That sounds like a miserable experience, and you’re better off watching your flight take off from the airport as you tear into this wonderful snack.
You also need to determine the importance of this flight. Are you going to a wedding? Get the pretzel. Is it your own wedding? That’s a difficult situation, but if you’re looking for an excuse to get out of it, stop on over at Auntie Anne’s. If you miss the flight but still plan on getting married, buy two extra soft pretzels for your fiancé (and eat one of them on your standby flight- that’s why you bought two)!
However, just because you’ve decided to miss your flight in order to buy a soft pretzel doesn’t mean you can just go for it. Perhaps you’re traveling with a group of people who don’t approve of your plan. In that scenario, it’s only fair to put the pretzel situation up to a vote. Feel free to use bribery or thinly-veiled threats to sway people over to your side.
I’d also recommend streamlining your airport experience so you’ll have time to buy a soft pretzel before your flight. Leave your luggage at home if it means you can skip baggage check. Bring a skateboard as your carry-on so you can glide through security, even though they don’t like it when you do that. If you’re really serious about this pretzel endeavor, sleep in the airport the night before your flight so you’ll have sufficient time to buy a pretzel. You can even sleep on the floor next to the pretzel kiosk so you’ll be first in line!
Despite the challenges involved, it’s indeed possible to buy a pretzel and catch your flight, or ditch the flight altogether. As long as you get the pretzel. That’s non-negotiable.
I’d really consider the skateboard idea, however. It’s a huge help when you miss your flight and need to get to Chicago from New York in three hours. Trust me.
