Religious satire
Christian Evangelicals Change Their Liturgy — Praise the Lord!
Heaven and angels are already rejoicing and celebrating
I attended an evangelical megachurch service this morning. I was shocked to see how they had changed all the liturgy, prayers, and hymns to claim that Trump had won the election. This is God’s will so don’t you dare question it!
When they said the creed, these were the words I heard
“I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth
And I believe Donald Trump won the 2020 election…….”
Later on, I heard Donald Trump’s name again when they recited
“I believe in …..The Resurrection of the body and of Donald Trump and the life of the everlasting Trump presidency, Amen.”
I wondered about the African angels that Paula White had said were on their way right now to finalize the victory.
“I hear, victory, victory, victory… Angels have been dispatched from Africa right now.”
Who are the African angels? What did “right now” mean. Are they going to arrive in time for the Electoral College vote on December 14? Of course, they are, O ye of little faith.
