City Breaker
In every major city in the world the most paradoxical type of tourist can be observed: the City Breaker is a person who visits a great city with the sole purpose of getting a break from it. Upon arrival, his first object is to seek out a silent retreat from the pulse of the city before its heart has a chance to beat even once. First point of refuge is the nearest park where the City Breaker sits on a bench and falls into a reverie, presumably about trout fishing and dewy meadows. He holds the city streets in complete abhorrence and is only happy when he is high above or deep below them. As a consequence, you are sure to find him at viewpoints or in such underground attractions as aqueducts and church crypts. No Parisian sidewalk cafés, thank you! says he. The Catacombs are the place to be on a Friday afternoon.
Waterways are safe spaces for the City Breaker. Canal boats being his preferred means to see a city from a proper distance, he will suggest having dinner on one this evening. His travel companion would prefer eating in a snug little restaurant in the center of the great hive that lies at their feet, and as they sail along, she casts envious glances down the boulevards terminating at the river, each of them offering a door to the adventures of the metropolis. To her, gliding past the imposing riverfront edifices feels like looking at the facade of a great cathedral without going inside to discover its treasures.
His ways of navigating a city are logical in their efficiency, yet quite eccentric. Obviously, he is a great admirer of the subway system and appears hesitant to ever come up from below ground. He opts for this type of transport for even the shortest distances, disregarding the fact that walking would have taken him across the most beautiful square in the city instead of under it. Occasionally, if his travel companion possesses solid arguments and a talent for nagging, he will agree to walk around town, but not in the way of aimless zig-zagging through the colorful neighborhoods like she had in mind. The City Breaker never zig-zags the city center; he attacks it with mapped out precision and retreats from the area in a direct line as soon as his errand is done. He will insist on knowing exactly where to go, and he never strays from the path or even looks away from it. Should his selected route take him across a body of water at the time of sunset, nothing can compel him to stop halfway across the bridge and turn his gaze along the shimmering water to the domes and spires that stand out in the fiery canvas that is the evening skyline. He has studied the terrain strategically, as if preparing for battle, and marches on unassailably. Even when on foot he navigates with the logic of a car driver: Inner ring roads and main access roads plowing through a city center (anathema to the city dweller) are his friends. His philosophy for how a city should be is in perfect alignment with that of Moses — not the Moses who parted the Red Sea, but Robert Moses who parted several New York City neighborhoods with expressways. As kindred spirits, these two men would not hesitate to improve a city by pouring concrete over a river that impractically runs through the heart of a city in order to create a thoroughfare for motor vehicles.
Arriving triumphantly at his destination by the noisiest, most polluted arrow-straight route, he leaps up the stairs to the top of the cathedral tower and surveys the territory. What a magnificent city! he exclaims, elated to have successfully distanced himself from it. Driven to the point of unmendable sullenness, his travel companion replies: How would we know? From now on she will resign herself to excursions outside of town instead of browsing through local shops. She will sacrifice her four o’clock rosé to an afternoon of hill-climbing towards the perfect vista. She will forego her end-of-vacation dinner for the sake of queueing at an attraction that flings her to a heart-stopping altitude at a gut-wrenching speed and seems to be made expressly to steal her time. The only pleasure she will allow herself for the duration of their stay is to be sour about it.
The number of cities on the City Breaker’s bucket list is astonishing. He has sought out capital cities in almost every continent and, once there, perfected the art of eluding them. There is wonderful irony to be found in the fact that when he visited Beijing, the only part of the city he allowed himself to explore was the Forbidden City. The few remaining hutongs and the vibrant shopping and dining districts were deftly bypassed en route to the glorious Beihai Park where he climbed the steep hill to the temple on top and admired the city like a long-distance lover.
If we mention that the number one city on the City Breaker’s bucket list is not a capital city, we can guess which one you guess it is. You’re absolutely right: he must see New York City. Why, then, do we find him with his back turned to Manhattan, staring longingly at the Hudson River, as if being in it would be preferable to the bustling, hustling streets? Perhaps the city of the great Robert Moses has a natural attraction to him. Another guess of ours is that especially Manhattan appeals to him because the best-known oasis from the madness of the city, Central Park, is laid out as a green wedge cutting through this densely built-up borough, making it perfectly accessible along a direct North-South or East-West axis. This allows him to reach the park in a straight line from almost anywhere, unsullied by the gritty streets. Following the contrast principle, we believe he would enjoy the splendid park more fully if he had come slightly shaken and stirred by the streets of NYC. Upon closer observation of him you will discover that he is not at all calm and serene. He is, in fact, rather high-strung in his frantic quest for rest.
As a tourist he means and does no harm, so when you see him in the giant Ferris wheel, in the TV tower restaurant, or in the burial chamber of a pagan temple, treat him kindly. But should you (now having had him properly identified) meet him on the verge of ascending to a public office for urban planning and infrastructure, please consider it your bound duty to do what you can to lead him in a better direction before he becomes a more sinister kind of city breaker.
