Classic Advertising Characters: Where Are They Now?
Mining your misplaced nostalgia for every last cent
The Noid
Thanks to decades of avoidance by the pizza community, can only stay sober for thirty minutes or less.
Mikey
Still likes Life, but has become a vocal advocate for the right to die.
Mr. Peanut
Threw away his monocle and became a card-carrying socialist after Occupy Wall Street woke him to the plight of the working class.
The Micro Machines Guy
Sadly, couldn’t fast-talk his way out of twenty years in prison for trafficking cocaine.
Fred the Baker
Finally triumphed over his compulsive donut-making and retired to write the great American novel.
The Tootsie Pop Owl
One, ta-who ... AIDS.
Spuds MacKenzie
Sobered up and became a born-again Christian, enjoying a brief career as a televangelist until he was caught humping a man’s leg in a bathroom stall.
Snap, Crackle, and Pop
Still together for business reasons, though they refuse to speak to each another off camera.
Charlie the Tuna
Died heroically saving a dolphin from tuna netting in the ‘80s, saying “Don’t be sorry. Earn this.”
The “Where’s the Beef?” Lady
Spun off her successful run in Wendy’s commercials into a career in erotic shaming.
The Maytag Repairman
With nothing else to occupy his time, began experimental repairs on his own body; now more machine than man.
The Marlboro Man
Died of cancer. Duh.
Kool-Aid Man
Enjoys a comfortable, fulfilling life punctuated by occasional appearances on pop-culture obsessed TV shows. Oh, yeah.
The California Raisins
Aged into a bottle of Two Buck Chuck that put a smile on a homeless wino’s face.
Bill Cosby
Look, the less said the better.
