“Come with Me, Eugenia, If You Want to Live!”

“Come with me if you want to live!”

“What?! What are you talking about?”

“I said ‘Come with me if you want to live!’”

“Who are you?”

“I’m here to help you. I’m Reese. Sergeant Tech-Com, DN38416. Assigned to protect you. You’ve been targeted for termination.”

“Targeted for termination? I think there’s been a mistake. Don’t you want Sarah Connor?”

“There’s no mistake. Your name is Eugenia, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is. But who wants to terminate me?”

“The President of the United States.”

“Why on Earth would the President of the United States want to terminate me?!”

“Because he’s narcissistic, vindictive, ignorant, boorish, blame-shifting, and a pathological liar. On a good day. Some of us have come to call him the Orange Terminator.”

“Look … I am not stupid, you know. Nobody that venal, selfish, and loutish could ever be elected President of the United States.”

“Not yet. Not for about 76 years.”

“Are you saying this idiot is from the future?”

“One possible future.”

“Then you’re from the future, too. Is that right?

“Right.”

“Ri-ght! Okay, see you at police headquarters! Maybe we can get actor Paul Winfield’s autograph.”

“No, you’ve got to listen! Understand. The Orange Terminator is out there. It can’t be reasoned with, it can’t be bargained with … because it sucks at reasoning and bargaining. It doesn’t feel remorse or pity. Except for itself.”

“Why me? Why does he want me?”

“In the year 2020, a terrible virus arises threatening to turn the world into a wasteland. A few years from now, all this, this whole place, everything, it’s gone. Just gone. That is, all the people are gone inside watching Netflix.”

“What’s Netflix?”

“Never mind. It’s not important to the premise.”

“Sorry if I stepped on your line.”

“It’s okay. All the while the Orange Terminator goes on TV, blustering, blathering, and spewing out opportunistic self-absorbed nonsensical garbage.”

“So he’s a Republican, huh?”

“But there was one man who taught us to fight, to smash that motherfucker virus. And that motherfucker president too. He turned it around. He brought us back from the brink. His name is Fauci. Dr. Anthony Fauci. Your son, Eugenia … your unborn son.”

“Now I know what to name him. Although I would have preferred Bruce.”

“Your son speaks truth to the nation about the virus, providing inspiration and hope to all. In a short time he develops an array of effective treatments which cure many people. Then he invents a vaccine that totally eradicates the disease.”

“My son, the doctor! Tell me about my son. What’s he like?”

“You trust him. He’s got a strength. He’s a pretty good basketball player too, although he’s kind of short.”

“Crap! No Big East scholarship then? But why would the President of the United States, even as big a tool as you say he is, want to interfere with all this?”

“He can’t stand it that anyone gets more attention than he does. When Dr. Fauci supports his opponent in the fall election, the Orange Terminator loses in the greatest landslide in history. Even Sean Hannity doesn’t vote for him.”

“Who’s Sean Hannity?”

“Never mind. It’s not important to the premise.”

“Oh, sorry if I stepped on your line again!”

“It is starting to get a little annoying.”

“Y’know, Reese, from what you say the future seems to work out fine.”

“That’s the future only as long as you survive.”

“But can you stop him?”

“Yes, as long as you remember what I’m about to tell you. Whenever the Orange Terminator approaches you, just repeat this phrase over and over again: ‘Under your leadership, Mr. President …’ That calms him down quicker than an adjudicated petition in bankruptcy.”

“One more question, Reese. How did both of you travel back to 1940?”

“Soon after the virus ends the Time Bender is invented.”

“Who invents the Time Bender?”

“You have to ask?”