Congratulations! Your City Has Been Occupied by Federal Troops

Some tips from the Department of Patriotic Alignment on enjoying your upgraded tactical security environment

AI image from Shutterstock.com

Greetings, citizen!
Your city has been selected for enhanced patriotic supervision. This instructional pamphlet will help you navigate your daily life with minimal disruption and maximum compliance.

We understand that you may be unaccustomed to having troops and armored vehicles in your neighbourhood. However, with just a few minor lifestyle adjustments, you can live fear-free, unless you’re an illegal or a criminal or look like one.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: I left the house without my government-issued photo ID. Will that be a problem?
A: Generally speaking, you should be fine. However, if you have a deep tan and/or speak with an un-American accent, we recommend that you return home to avoid misunderstandings.

Q: I may have posted some memes on social media that are unflattering to the administration. Do I need to disclose that fact if I’m stopped?
A: No. We already know.