Conspiracy Theory, Conspiracy Theory. It’s All Very Airy Fairy (Or is it?).
Today is International Conspiracy Theory Day.
1st Person: No it isn’t.
Me: That’s what they want you to think.
What is a conspiracy theory?
“A conspiracy theory is an explanation for an event or situation that asserts the existence of a conspiracy by powerful and sinister groups, often political in motivation, when other explanations are more probable.” — Wikipedia
Conspiracy theorists believe that the world is controlled by groups such as Big Pharma, The Military Industrial Complex, The World Economic Forum, The Illuminati, The Bilderberg Group, The Freemasons….
1st Person: The Jews.
Me: No.
1st Person: We’re all thinking it.
Me: No. We are not. Quickly moving on, no doubt you’ve heard of One Total Truth?
1st Person: Er, no….
One Total Truth is the single powerful organisation that rules over every single person on the planet.
1st Person: Yeah they are. Except for people like me. We know what’s going on.
Me: Sorry, even you.
A guiding principle of One Total Truth is capitalism, meaning….
1st Person: Fucking you over!
Me: Well, I believe that is one technical term.
Anyway, for One Total Truth everything is about maximum profits.
The vast majority of the world’s population submit to One Total Truth. They do what they are told and consume what they are told to consume.
These are the Complies.
1st Person: Brainwashed idiots more like.
Me: Perhaps, another technical term?
However, that leaves the rest of the world’s population who believe they are not under any control.
These are the Contraries.
1st Person: Yeah! The smart fuckers.
Me: I honestly don’t know what to make of that technical term.
So, obviously, One Total Truth believes in absolute control. The Contraries maintain they are the outliers. Therefore One Total Truth produces conspiracy theory product for them to consume. Books, dvds, podcasts, t-shirts, posters, lectures to go to, films to see.
All hail One Total Truth. We all buy. No one lives free.
[silence]
1st Person: Not plausible.
Me: That’s what they want you to think.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………
