“Couple Wants to Be Dominated…
Dear Fet Community —
Hi, my husband and I would like to be dominated by another super-dominating couple. It would be great if she was a dominatrix and he was a master, you know. A real dominator. We would like to come over to your house. It would be great if the Dominatrix would take my husband into the other room and maybe go number one on him.
Meanwhile, it would be really great if the Master could take me down into his dungeon and tie me up to some sort of pulley rope system. I’ve always fantasized about pullies. I want to be pulled all around, like Whoa! there goes my arm. And Whoops! my leg is flying out in that direction. And Holy Cow ! I’m suddenly way up in the air. And Jesus! Am I upside down? All the blood is rushing to my head! This is better than Six Flags!
Please contact me on this email. Subcouple@gmail.com
Saw your notice. My wife and I have been doing this for quite some time. I think we might be a good fit. Can you clarify, do you want just domination or is there sex involved? We can do either. Just let me know. Domcouple@aol.com
AOL? Sorry, you must be old. Who has AOL? We are in our late twenties, grandpa. Don’t think it’s going to work.”
We saw your notice. We’re a couple of aggressive people. I saw you don’t like AOL. Well, you’ll notice I have the coolest hippest email ever. That’s right, it’s a ProtonMail account, oh yeah!
We’re hipsters. We live in Silver Lake in an apartment. We could have you over. My girlfriend would take your husband into the bedroom and you and I can stay in the living room.
I would explain very carefully my process. It involves taking all your clothes off and tying you down on your back on this piece of plywood. It’s on a machine that was actually originally a potting wheel, but I adapted it for this use. It makes the piece of plywood spin. So I spin you around a bunch of times so you get really dizzy. Then I do stuff to you. Meanwhile, my girlfriend will have dressed your husband in a latex suit that zips up all the way over his face and head so he can’t breathe. He’ll be completely sealed in. Does this sound interesting?
So you’ve spun me around a bunch of times and made me puke, while your girlfriend suffocated my boyfriend to death. What’s not to like about this? Next.
We’d love to have you over and talk to you and your wife for about three hours over dinner about our trip to Spain and our four-year-old daughter’s wheat allergy and other stuff, lots of other stuff, while never asking you anything about yourselves. Then we’ll show you our high school yearbooks and laugh about all the funny things our friends signed in there. Then we’ll tell you about our boring jobs in excruciating detail. And finally, when you can’t take it any more, we’ll take you both into our bedroom, make you take off your clothes and force you to listen to us have a really unusually heated argument about which is better — New York or Chicago Pizza?
Yes!!!!!!! Are you guys free tonight?
So excited. You know what would be great after that? If you tied us both up with ball gags in our mouth and made us watch the two of you playing Cards Against Humanity for like four hours!
PS Should we bring a salad and maybe some wine? Let us know.