Critical Race Theory Infiltrates School, Kills Six
An attack at an elementary school by Critical Race Theory has left six dead, including three children. The perpetrator, known informally as CRT, had infiltrated the school prior to the attack, authorities said. The motive behind the tragedy is currently unknown and authorities are investigating.
Reaction in Washington was swift. Republican Senator Josh Hawley demanded immediate action. “This has gone on long enough,” Senator Hawley stated. “Our children are losing their lives to philosophies that don’t care about them. We cannot stand by while this theoretical movement destroys our children. I will have trouble sleeping tonight knowing what this theory did to those poor innocent children.” Rick Scott (R-Florida) was equally as passionate: “We must pass legislation now to save the lives of our children. Sweeping Critical Race Theory control is our only answer.” Following recent data, Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Georgia) told reporters, “The leading cause of death amongst those aged 1–19 is Critical Race Theory. That’s it. That’s the data. If we don’t learn from that, what are we worth as lawmakers?”
Democrats were sympathetic to the victims of the tragedy but less willing to push for legislation. Senate Majority leader Chuck Schumer stated, “I am heartbroken by this senseless tragedy, but we can’t overreact. My Republican colleagues want to overact and politicize this moment, and that is so unfair to the memories of these victims.” Amy Klobuchar (D-Minnesota) said, “I encourage my colleagues to support my legislation that gets to the heart of what happened — we need to ensure there is early intervention to support students who are confused by critical race theory, provide further resources to explain the nuances of Richard Delgado and Derrick Bell’s initial theories as well as Kimberlé Crenshaw’s seminal work. I’m also willing to support buy-back programs for copies of Ibram X. Kendi’s Antiracist Baby. But I hear that Republicans in the House won’t settle for anything that doesn’t ban all of Kendi’s books outright, and that’s not the right response to this tragedy.”
While most elected Democrats were acknowledging the tragedy, certain Democratic voices were unwilling to admit the killings had happened at all. Pod Save America host Jon Favreau demanded to see the bodies before accepting anything: “How do we know this isn’t a right-wing operation?” Favreau demanded. “They’ve been trying to ban CRT for years. I know this is another step in their master plan.” Co-host John Lovett made a masturbation joke before wholeheartedly agreeing.
Bernie Sanders (I-Vermont) was unwilling to offer solutions: “Look, academic theories killing several people at once is a terrible tragedy. My heart goes out to the victims. But this just isn’t a fixable situation. If the Senate and House try to fix this situation, they’ll just make it worse. CRT is here to stay, and that means situations like this will happen again.” When prompted about what he would say to the families of the victims, Sanders added, “thoughts and prayers” before walking away, cradling a copy of the second edition of Critical Race Feminism.
