The Haven
Published in

The Haven


Curse of the Wereshark

A terrifying tale of the sea

Photo by Marcelo Cidrack on Unsplash

Dramatis Personae

BRUCE, a surfer

NURSE, a nurse

PASSERBY, a graduate student at the University of Melbourne studying marine biology and drama, who dreams of being the world’s foremost television shark scientist, sort of a cross between Jacques Cousteau and Kim Kardashian, only richer and sluttier.

CORONER, a coroner

SCENE—The Ocean. BRUCE is surfing.

BRUCE: Egad! I have been bitten by a shark!

SCENE—The Hospital.

NURSE: You were lucky to survive.

BRUCE: I should have never invaded its watery domain. I hope I’m not cursed.

NURSE: Don’t be silly. Now kiss me. [They kiss]

SCENE—The Bedroom.

NURSE: I like your scar.

BRUCE: It’s totally not cursed. I like your boobs.

NURSE: They’re not cursed, either.

BRUCE: Hot damn. [They have gratuitous sex]

SCENE—The Street.

BRUCE: The tide is high. I’m sure of it.

NURSE: How could you know that? Unless …

PASSERBY: Egad! That man is turning into a shark!

BRUCE: Aaaargh! [turns in to a shark]

SCENE—The Morgue.

CORONER: We’re fortunate he could not breathe our human air.

NURSE: He should have never invaded their watery domain.

CORONER: At least the curse died with him.

NURSE: Does it feel like high tide to you?


Photo by NOAA on Unsplash

Call me, Spielberg. Let’s make this happen.



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Steven Stampone

Humorist. Serious-ist. Supercallafragilisticexpialodoc-ist. You get the gist. for more.