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Dating Site Chats: Are You Talking to a Real Person or a Robot?

The Beautiful Woman so Entranced by You May Be a Mirage

Tim McCauley
Published in
2 min readDec 12, 2023

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Hi hon. I loved your profile right away!

Well, there’s nothing there really, except my name, age, and location.

I noticed you didn’t post a picture of yourself. You’re a mystery man! That excites me.

Well, you look like a supermodel! At least I can assure you that I am not some ogre attempting to impersonate a movie star.

Do you want to see some of my sexy pics?

I thought perhaps we could meet up for a drink instead.

So what turns you on?

Honestly, I prefer to get to know a person first. May I ask what area of town you live in?

I really like it when a man is in charge in bed.

So you do live in the city?

We are going to run out of time for our free chat unless you purchase more time. Just add your credit card info and we can chat more.

Hey, am I talking to a real person or are these computer-generated responses?

If you want to see my nude pics, you can become a full member for only $79.99 a month. You will also become an instant elite member of our affiliate site, for $59.99 a month.

Robot lady, I just can’t resist the smouldering sexuality that exudes from your non-sensical responses. I will freely hand over to you all my credit card information, for the distinct privilege of chatting with you.

I have a live camera too if you really want to get to know me more intimately.

I am wondering if a real person occasionally monitors these conversations. My computer hacking friend has been here working feverishly. He will access your server and introduce some really sexy viruses.

Do you want me to do a striptease for you?

The author would like to gratefully acknowledge the inspiration of the following dating websites: Adult Friend Finder, Friends with Benefits, Yummy Affair, I Am Naughty, One Night Friend, and many more.

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Tim McCauley
The Haven

For years I only composed serious essays, then I discovered there are publications interested in spoofs and satires .