Dear Chief Justice: Let’s Rebrand SCOTUS!
Our response to your request for proposal
Dear Chief Justice Roberts:
Thank you for the invitation to conduct a brand audit of the Supreme Court of the United States. It is a testament to your vision that, as your organization prepares to welcome a new justice, you are exploring ways to further “evolve” the Court. And what better way than a long overdue rebrand?
Per your request, our recommendations are absolutely confidential. Should you wish to share our findings with your colleagues, we would be happy to pull together a bells & whistles presentation that will keep even Justice Thomas alert and engaged.
Overview:
We approached this assignment the same way we would any struggling globally recognized brand. If you are a KFC, Dunkin’ or Meta and your brand is stagnant and/or perhaps associated with less than-positive news, then it is time to break the emergency glass and shake things up! And with the exception of dinosaur bones and the founding documents of our nation, I think we can agree that 230 years of the “same old same old” equals stale. Not to worry because we are here to help you analyze, strategize, and rebrand with confidence.
Normally, it’s helpful to analyze the competition from logo to brand voice. We often use what others are doing to inform recommendations. Of course, the Court has no legitimate competition. So, are you ready to have your mind blown? We used the current Court as its own competition. Mic drop! We analyzed two centuries of stagnant to identify opportunities for the Court to zig where in the past it zagged. I don’t mind sharing that this is groundbreaking stuff.
Current Landscape:
62% of Americans believe the Court is driven by politics rather than the law, so your instincts seeking change are spot on. And with justices giving speeches at partisan gatherings and the nomination process, to quote the great Logan Roy*, “a fight for a knife in the mud” the reality is trust metrics will continue to tumble.
*A character on the popular HBO series Succession.
Recommendations:
We recommend a three-pronged rebrand journey that we’re calling the 3Es — Embrace. Energize. Engage.
Embrace: Given the ultra-confidential nature of this proposal, I’m going to be candid. The system established by our forefathers is, for the foreseeable, broken. Sure, it’d be nice if the judicial branch were immune to America’s political climate but here we are. I mean, there are people arguing with a straight face that President Biden nominating an ultra-qualified Black woman is racist even though 108 out of 155 justices in the history of the Supreme Court have been white males. Face palm!*
* to cover one’s face with the hand as an expression of embarrassment, dismay, or exasperation.
So, let’s accept the fact that the Court is a political body. There, that wasn’t so bad, was it? While we are at it, “Supreme Court” just sounds a little obnoxious/elitist. Moving forward let’s embrace the acronym “SCOTUS.” With those Rubicons crossed, we are free to move onto phase two.
Energize: The Court may have stopped wearing powdered wigs but, like the furniture in grandma’s house, it could use a good dusting. Here are some initial suggestions:
· Opening Night at the Court — You want America to care about the Court? Then let’s start each term with a bang! SCOTUS may not have much color but that doesn’t mean the robes can’t dazzle. Come the first Monday in October, let’s let the justices get jiggy*, work with their designer of choice and ascend the SCOTUS steps (in reverse order of seniority) ala the Met Gala. For one night, the only justice dress code rule is that there are no rules!
* excitedly energetic. wonderful and exciting
· Team Robes — Alert the courtroom sketch artist that he/she will be needing some colored pencils because once SCOTUS is in session, it’s time for the justices to show their colors. Liberal justices should sport royal blue robes (Pantone® 19–3955). And, as a Harvard grad, I trust you’ll like seeing the conservative wing resplendent in crimson. (Pantone® 19–1762).
· The Golden Gavel — SCOTUS can borrow a page from wildly successful reality television programs like America’s Got Talent and The Masked Singer, to introduce more “wow” moments into the traditional Court sessions. We white boarded a number of options before settling on providing each justice with a Golden Gavel that they can bang just once a term. If a Golden Gavel is deployed, case arguments cease and an immediate vote taken. The gaveling justice and attendees in the gallery count down from 10 at which point each justice must indicate which side prevailed by holding up the appropriate paddle. The idea that a case could be ruled upon at any moment, will make every session a nail-biter and will certainly give counsel reason to step up their game entertainment-wise which will drive significant uptick in general public interest.
Engage: Here is where we invite America to join the dynamic new SCOTUS. This is only a partial list of available, low-hanging amazing:
· Merch — Let’s give the American people a chance to make memories and have some fun. Here are just a few potential hot items:
o Replica Golden Gavels and Paddles
o Red and Blue Robes (I can get you some numbers from HarryPotter.com to give a sense of the opportunity here)
o SCOTUS Justice Onesies
o Posters of justices showing off their personalities. Think Alito in a jazz club. Thomas behind the wheel of an RV. Kavanaugh in a toga. We can refine but you get the idea.
o NFTs* of pivotal SCOTUS moments.
*Non-fungible token — a non-interchangeable unit of data stored on a blockchain that can be sold and traded. You know what? We might do better to have Xavier from my digital team provide a tutorial if you wish to learn more.
· Visibility — I applaud the Court for finally streaming oral arguments. But now is the time to expand offerings including:
o “Live From the SCOTUS Steps” — Our newly created first day of session fashion parade opens up potential revenue and promotional streams in the form of red carpet-like broadcast rights. I’ve trial ballooned hypotheticals with contacts at E!, Logo TV, and C-SPAN and can confirm there is an appetite out there for what we can serve up.
o Cameo — As distinct Court characters emerge, so will D2C* opportunities. Personalized shout-outs videos to Americans will move the Court from the ivory tower to America’s living room.
*Direct to consumer
o Podcasts — Each justice needs a podcast (I mean, everyone has one, right?). If I were to produce these pods (and I’m happy to price-out a proposal for that if you wish), I will insist on our hosts discussing anything but the law (unless perhaps any of your colleagues would want to do a Law & Order rewatch — That could rack up subs). We could distribute via Wonderly or, for the current majority members, Spotify.
These are just topline suggestions. When your schedule accommodates, let’s unpack these and I can share the “reach” proposals we developed. We are ready to roll up our robe sleeves and declare this project now in session!
You Rule (get it?),
Adam Winston Pritchett
Founder & CEO, BrandAnew Marketing
New York, NY
