Dear Pastor Bill

Gail Gauthier
Dec 2, 2020 · 3 min read

Thanks to you I can drink before noon one Sunday a month

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Dear Pastor Bill,

Just wanted to tell you what a fantastic live stream service you did this morning. While I know cold weather drives the Covid rates up, I am so glad it’s no longer warm enough for us to drive to the church and drag our lawn chairs across the grass for a socially distanced gathering. I don’t know if you are aware of this, but over the two months we were meeting together in Christ’s name, a certain competitiveness had begun over face masks. Lace and sequin embellishments…hand embroidered borders…logos suggesting the wearer works for NASA or NASCAR when we all know that isn’t the case. That’s pretty close to breaking the commandment about lying, isn’t it? Or some other one, surely?

Fortunately, we’re all back at home on Sunday mornings, so that temptation is gone. It’s an awful thing to be tempted at church, don’t you think? Or on the church lawn.

We had a communion service this morning, and you’ve found a wonderful way to handle that on-line. Collecting our own communion accessories to have ready before logging on means we have to give thought to the Lord’s Supper. I had to get creative, because I don’t keep grape juice on hand, which is what the deacons pass around when we’re in the sanctuary. But the first time we celebrated communion distantly I happened to have an open bottle of chardonnay, which is like grape juice. And much more like what the early Christians used when they got together. So I poured a little of that and added a slice from a baguette to replace the gluten free bread chunks we use at church. Oh, my…goodness. What a communion!

I know red wine would have been more in keeping with the occasion, but it gives me migraines.

For the next month’s Communion Sunday I continued with the chardonnay and added just a smear of herb butter to another baguette slice.

In June I had my chardonnay and my baguette ready for our ten AM service, along with the herb butter topped with a small slice of good, sharp Cheddar.

I used goat cheese in July and sliced fresh basil. I replaced the juice with a little pinot grigio that time.

In August, the Lord gives us fresh tomatoes. So I had bruschetta on my baguette with some sauvignon blanc.

In September and October we did the lawn services I mentioned earlier, and you used those prepackaged juice and bread containers for communion. Those were cute.

But this morning was our first Communion Sunday back on-line. To celebrate, I ordered a nice dry riesling for curbside pickup and made a couple of fresh baguettes. To top my slices? Cream cheese and smoked salmon!!! Talk about divine.

Next month’s Communion Sunday is in December, of course, and I’m already praying on what kind of baguette topping to use for Advent.

I know, Pastor, that people tend to complain when they’re dissatisfied but don’t praise when they’re pleased. I wanted to make sure you know what a great job you’re doing and to assure you that so long as the pandemic lasts, I will be looking forward to Communion Sundays.

The Haven

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Gail Gauthier

Written by

Writer of humorous children’s fiction. Essays and short stories in The Millions, Literary Mama, Bending Genres, and The Blue Nib. Tweets at @gail_gauthier

The Haven

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Gail Gauthier

Written by

Writer of humorous children’s fiction. Essays and short stories in The Millions, Literary Mama, Bending Genres, and The Blue Nib. Tweets at @gail_gauthier

The Haven

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

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