DEI is Ruining Sports

We need to get white people out

Real Americans know that “diversity” is just a way of undermining the glorious intransigence that has made us into the great republic we are today. “Diversity,” as the saboteurs call it, really means a lack of quality. It’s what forced us to accept immigrants who have caused irreparable damage to America, like Emma Lazarus, Irving Berlin, Alexander Graham Bell, and Nikola Tesla. And now, of course, it’s causing our institutions to fail, our planes to fall from the sky, and our servicemen to become servicewomen, succumbing to women-like hysteria (normally caused, of course, by the vagina, which we know makes females crazy when there’s a full moon — that’s just science).

But if we’re going to talk about all the damage DEI is doing, we also need to be frank and address the elephant in the room: diversity is ruining our sports, and it’s because of all of the undeserving white people who just shouldn’t be there.

Let’s face it: While there are indeed some white people who deserve to be professional athletes, most of them got there only because they were given handouts. They benefited from schools in rich and middle-class areas massively funded by our taxes, then got to go to uppity white universities, also often supported by government. They were provided with special instruction and tutors and coaches and excessive opportunities — and that’s how they got on their teams!

But it’s time to stop this madness. We just don’t need white people in sports. And they’re undermining everything!

For instance, think of the last great heavyweight white boxer. I bet you said “Rocky Marciano.” Right. He died fifty-five years ago. Here’s a white challenger for you:

This guy was so white and so British, his name was literally London. He went down in the third round.

Look, also, at this historic photo of the 2008 US Men’s Olympic Basketball team. See if you can figure out which guy doesn’t belong there.

That’s right! — It’s the whitest motherfucker in the universe. This guy right here:

Who also, of course, never belonged in the White House. How did he get there? You got it: excessive inclusion — handouts to white people.

Now, there might be more white people in baseball and football than there is in boxing and basketball, but really, do we need them? These DEI hires are excluding better black and Latino players who could do a much better job and provide much more entertainment.

I mean, look at music. Back in the 1950s, white people stole black music, repackaged it, and gave it to a diversity hire named Elvis who turned out to like girls around age fourteen. Great job there!

Here are some more DEI hires who could have been replaced by competent minority workers:

So, it’s bad enough we allow mentally slow white people to run the country sometimes; let’s not have them run races:

Maybe as a compromise, we can all agree to let white people keep hockey and golf. This way some white people can still feel good about themselves — build their self-esteem a bit.

But for the real sports (soccer included, I guess), let’s get these diversity hires out and improve the game! We want to see the best, not some kid who got there because Dad’s friends with the coach.

White inclusion has done enough damage — it’s time to put our foot down (hopefully, better than your average white DEI athlete).