Embryonic Economics
Demanding Supply: 10 Business Ideas
Hey, I’m just the idea guy!
- Daily Door-to-Door Restaurant Extension
Restaurants and fast food cost more than just the expenses associated with eating in those locations. With gas prices being as high as they are, the restaurants should be coming to us, right? Don’t even bother getting the app to make an order because the restaurant is sending the same person to your door every day at the same time to see if you want anything. Life becomes more convenient for the consumer, and more financially straining for top-dollar corporations. Easy fix!
2. BoreDRUM
Have you ever felt bored? Well, you can forget what that feels like and have our highly educated scientists and technicians install the BoreDRUM in your brain. Whenever it senses that you feel a general lack of motivation, it will create a lively and percussive beat in your head to inspire a wave of enthusiasm and energy. Warning: may cause sleep deprivation and minor concussion-like symptoms.
3. Paywall Wrecking Ball
Are you tired of finding a new and exciting show or online service only to find that there’s an annoying paywall obstructing you from your entertainment? Don’t worry about it, just get our free service installed on your devices today! You enjoy, we incur.
4. BoxSim
You’ve heard of VR, AR and all sorts of technologies in that realm, but now we have a completely revolutionary revamping of that tech. Imagine that you want to be in the world of Star Wars. A VR headset can allow you to experience what is limited by your eyesight, but what if we told you that we have developed a technology that renders a simulated experience that considers all of your five senses completely manufactured to be toggled to the desired experience of the user? You can enter BoxSim and it will generate the experience you desire along with tangible components that you want to maximize the potential that the generative simulation can provide you. Do you want to wield a real lightsaber? Do you want your hand to be removed as it is commonplace in any Star Wars movie? Well, now you can thanks to BoxSim. Various liability waivers may be required before purchase.
5. LifeTooner
Have you ever wanted to stretch your body to cartoonish proportions? Have you ever wanted to realize that you are no longer on land before you plummet a significant distance and inexplicably walk away unscathed? Have you ever wanted to quip while in mortal danger and end up outsmarting the individual in pursuit of you? Have you ever wanted to play basketball with Michael Jordan or LeBron James and have an insane amount of fun? Well, you can do all of that and more with LifeTooner. This device allows you to alter your life to various degrees of cartoon logic and physics. Thanks to revolutionary breakthroughs in technology and loopholes in science, we’ve been able to create a device that enables the user to toggle how two-dimensional they would prefer to live their life. Come on down to LifeTooner and get your Toon-Up today!
6. White Glove Express
Has someone ever irked or annoyed you to a point in which you could reasonably slap them but you aren’t confident enough in your ability to land a good slap? Well, the next time someone gets on your nerves, get them to wait while you call White Glove Express. We will promptly send a representative to your location in a limousine with a pristine white glove to slap the perpetrator upside the head. For an extra $5, you can use the glove as well!
7. NeuroCash
From the same scientists and technicians that brought you the BoreDRUM, we bring you NeuroCash! You won’t need to bring your wallet with you ever again after you get our life-changing surgery! We will install a chip in your forehead that will make you look a little like Vision from Marvel, and all you will have to do is move your forehead to the debit machine, and you’ve paid! What about stores that only accept cash? We thought you might ask that, and that’s why we also installed a dashboard on your abdomen that looks like a small ATM. You can punch in the amount of cash you need, and then bills will come flowing out of your mouth. It’s easy! Get NeuroCash today! Warning: may cause unwieldy vomiting, and may cause interference with radio waves.
8. Human Repellent
You’ve heard of Batman’s shark-repellent but from the pioneers behind White Glove Express comes Human Repellent! Do you not get good vibes from someone? Do you have a general distaste for someone? Do you want to avoid someone at all costs but they are very clearly coming in your direction? Use Human Repellent! Not only does it make that person forget who you are (and what you may have done to prompt them to come after you), it sends them a good nineteen kilometres away! If you call this number right now, we’ll double the offer and give you two cans of Human Repellent for the price of three!
9. iRate
From Apple comes the new app that is a default package with newly purchased iPhones, iRate! It allows the phone to rate how violently displeased you are with your battery inexplicably dying, and lets you get in on the action with the class action lawsuit against Apple! You heard that right, folks. Apple is encouraging people to use their phones with their new app so they can give you compensation for having a phone that prompts you to get the newest phone.
10. Punching Bag Pro
Have you ever punched a punching bag waiting for it to punch back? Well, now you can thanks to the incredible scientists that brought you the BoreDRUM and NeuroCash! When you hit this sentient punching bag, it will hit back with double the force you hit it with! Wow, talk about buy one, get one, am I right?
